RULE TO BREAK

“Hide your mistakes”

One of my brothers had an argument with a friend at college over how a certain word was spelt. The argument was amicable but quite forceful, as both of them were certain they were right, and neither was prepared to let it drop. Eventually the friend said, ‘Right. I’m going to look it up in the dictionary’, and off he went to his room. When he hadn’t reappeared after five minutes, my brother went to track him down. He opened the door of the friend’s room to find him kneeling on the floor over the dictionary, with a bottle of correction fluid in his hand, looking extremely sheepish and embarrassed at being caught.^*

It was clear all along that one of them was going to be wrong, even though both of them were convinced it was the other one. The fact is that none of us is right every single time. And, you know, it just could be you who’s wrong. Sometimes.

I’m not suggesting that you constantly doubt yourself, but when you find yourself in this situation, just consider that it might be you. It’s fine – even the cleverest, most knowledgeable, most experienced, best informed people are wrong occasionally. So it’s OK for you to be wrong too. It doesn’t make you stupid, or even ignorant.

On the other hand, insisting you’re right when you aren’t will make you look arrogant and pig-headed. And quite possibly, like my brother’s friend, very foolish. So whether you’re arguing about religion or politics, whose fault something is, who owns what, or how a word is spelt, just bear in mind that it will be fine if you turn out to be wrong, but only if you’ve approached the subject with an open mind. Don’t back yourself into a corner where being wrong will make you look foolish.

It’s not just about you and how you come across. It’s also about the other person and how you treat them. There’s no excuse for being boorish or overbearing or dominating or shouting someone down or not listening to their side. These are all the things you’re likely to do if you go into the discussion convinced that you’re right and they are stupid if they can’t see it. Even if you are right, that’s no excuse for this kind of behaviour.

So even if you do turn out to have been correct – this time – don’t make the other person feel small and do, at all times, remember Rule 74. You’ve forgotten Rule 74? Go and take a look and then come back here.

There. Well done. And when it comes to Rule 74, I promise you I’m right.