RULE TO BREAK

“Live in the present”

Well, clearly in literal terms the present is the only time you can live in. But it’s taken to mean focusing on what’s happening now and disregarding the past or the future. Sure, you’ll have more fun if you appreciate and enjoy what you have at the time. Living in the present can stop you from feeling anxious or worrying about things you can’t change.

But what if the present isn’t much fun? Suppose you’re already anxious or upset or grief-stricken or miserable or depressed. In that case living entirely in the present doesn’t seem so clever. Of course you need to have an eye on the present in order to resolve things. But where’s the sense in immersing yourself in your misery? When that happens it’s much better to do a spot of living in the future or the past.

There’s too much nonsense talked generally about the benefits of living in the present. Some people try to impress it on you as a permanent state. It’s certainly true that when things are going well it can feel better still if you just go with the flow and enjoy yourself. But real life has a past and a future too, and they shouldn’t be ignored. Sometimes enjoying ‘the now’^* is a good thing. But sometimes ignoring the future just stores up problems for later. There is no single correct state to live in because life is much more complex than that.

One of the biggest advantages of switching between perspectives is that it helps you get some distance. Remembering the past helps you see how far you’ve come, and reminds you of good friends and good times which have stayed with you and make you feel good now.

Looking to the future is a great way to deal with current problems, crises, disasters. Ask yourself how much this will matter in six months’ time, or two years. Occasionally things go on mattering, but they’re actually very few and far between. Dreams and plans are good too – they’re what motivate you to keep going. So there’s nothing wrong with the future.

The thing to avoid is becoming so focused on the past or the future that you miss what’s going on now. It’s like trying so hard to line up the perfect photo that you’re separated from the action. The photo is supposed to be there to bring back memories, but in fact all you have is the photo and no other memory, because you weren’t concentrating at the time. Don’t do that with life. Notice it while it’s happening. If you don’t, you’ll have wasted the time spent planning it when it was in the future, and you won’t remember it when it becomes the past.

However, when there’s down time, pauses for reflection, periods of analysis or contemplation, then you can look to the past and dream about the future, in order to give yourself a perspective on the present and keep your life in 3D.