RULE TO BREAK

“If you’re going to do something, do it properly”

Like many of these Rules to Break, there are times when the Rule applies. The danger is in following it blindly. Yes, it’s true that there comes a point in any project or challenge when you have to either get out or just go for it. But don’t imagine that that point necessarily comes near the beginning.

Of course there are some things that you have to go for. If you decide to have children, for example, you really have to commit yourself before you actually begin. But there are many times in life when it just isn’t necessary to do that. Often you can dip a toe in, and then another, and really take your time before you jump.

I grew up with a friend who hated being in the City. He really wanted to live in a particular part of the country where he’d spent his childhood holidays. The trouble was, it was several hours from London^* and he didn’t know a soul there. He wanted to make a clean break, leave London and set up a new life in this place. But he was very scared. It took another friend of his to convince him that he could get a job a couple of hours out of London in that direction, still live in the country, and see how he liked it. That way he could either move right on down to his dream location when he felt ready, or head back to London if he decided it was all a horrible mistake.

That’s just what he did, and he stayed in the halfway house for a few years before he felt the time was right to move on. He eventually arrived where he’d always wanted to be, and is still very happy there. In fact, he’s happier than he would have been if he’d gone straight there because he made a few mistakes in the first, halfway move, which he avoided this time around. He discovered, for example, that he didn’t like village life and preferred to live somewhere more remote – a useful discovery that smoothed the way for his later move.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to go all out for big changes. Whether it’s a house in a new location, a new job, a relationship commitment or anything else, if there’s a way to do it in stages, that’s fine. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You just go at the pace that works for you. Keep moving – don’t wuss out – but so long as you’re making progress it’s no one’s business but yours what speed you move at.