No!

“No!” is a two-letter word that most of us learned to say at two or three years old. As we grew older, for some strange reason, we found it difficult to use the word; instead, adults reply with a three-letter word—“Yes!”—even when we really want to say no.

Hence, this reluctance to say no is the reason for the demise of careers for many professionals. They have been asked to do something that may be unsuitable to their skills, experience, and availability. They said yes when they really wanted to say no just to keep peace with colleagues and superiors. The long-term result only angers colleagues and superiors who will discover your inability to deliver at some future date.

If you’re like many people, you hate to say no. The urge for acceptance overwhelms the need for setting priorities and not worrying about what other people think. Here are some key points to help you learn to say no.

What matters is not saying no, but how you say it. Sometimes you can say no by never saying it. For instance, you can tell the person asking you to do something that you will address her need after you complete a long list of items. (Do not say that they are higher priority.) You are then sending a subtle message that the person must wait, which she may not be willing to do and, therefore, will go someplace else.

Saying no offers several advantages. It avoids overcommitting yourself and keeps you from putting yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. Finally, it builds self-confidence and self-respect.

for Saying No!

• Keep your main goal(s) in the forefront of your mind.
• Listen to the request, and evaluate it from the perspective of your main goal(s).
• Try to understand the reason for the request. If it fails to further your goal(s), give it a priority relative to yours.
• Muster the courage to say no, accompanied with an explanation.
• If you are given more than one request of equal priority, ask the requester to determine which is more important.