Chapter 15. Meltdown: Dealing with Anger

When confronted with an angry person, you first have to accept that anger is a legitimate emotion—one that many of us find difficult to express appropriately. Therefore, when a person does express anger, you must assume that there is a valid reason for it. You also should recognize that some people are more volatile than others, some have less self-control, and some respond more to “gut reaction” than to logic. Here are some guidelines for managing an angry customer:

  • Respond with a firm approach and a direct facial expression. Maintain a calm and composed stance throughout the encounter.

  • Attract the customer’s attention by saying his or her name, if possible. Keeping eye contact, follow through immediately with a short statement, showing you recognize and acknowledge the anger: “You are obviously very annoyed; what exactly went wrong?”

  • Empathize, acknowledging the customer’s point of view. It is important that you don’t imply that the company is a mess or that the staff is incompetent. Professionalism and loyalty to the organization must be paramount.

  • Establish the facts of the situation while keeping a calm, even tone and level of voice.

  • If appropriate, apologize once and sincerely for the inconvenience caused by any error or misunderstanding, then set about putting things right.

  • Repeat your statement of intent until the customer calms down. It may be possible to offer an alternative: “Would you like to speak to the manager?”

  • Ask if anything further can be done to improve things and, if the person has any suggestions, use active listening to check facts. Affirm that you have heard and understood.

  • If the situation gets out of control, call for a manager or offer to have someone call the customer back. Remember that you have the right to be treated with respect and not to be threatened.

Things to Do

  • Stay calm.

  • Maintain a neutral posture, facial expression, and tone of voice. Keep steady eye contact.

  • Allow the other person some time to “let off steam.”

  • Acknowledge the person’s anger and empathize, as appropriate.

  • Listen well and let the other person know that you heard and understood what was said.

  • Try to establish the cause of the anger and do what you can to establish a solution, a workable relationship, a compromise, or some other positive outcome.

  • Help the other person behave assertively, rather than aggressively, by your example.

Things to Avoid

  • Don’t show impatience or annoyance.

  • Don’t let the customer dominate the conversation; gently intervene by restating what was said and then move the conversation along.

  • Don’t get sidetracked by other issues.

  • Don’t cut off the other person’s speech too abruptly; treat the situation with care and sensitivity.

  • Don’t overdo your apology or place blame on other employees and the organization.

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