TIP 14
A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING
Never underestimate the effect of clutter on your life.
If you come from a long line of pack rats, you won’t be able to unclutter your office or home in just one or two days. Keep asking yourself, “Does this give me joy?” That is the acid test. It is amazing how much a body can accumulate over the years. The good news is that you can achieve perfect order in six months or less. The trick is to sort through one category at a time and do that one category in one fell swoop. Once you have created perfect order in one area, you’ll feel naturally inclined to keep it that way. Go for perfection. Once you’ve cleared the excess clutter, the next step is to find a place for everything. While uncluttering is a once-in-a-lifetime event, tidying (putting things away after you’ve used them) should be a daily event. If something doesn’t have a home, then it will quickly become clutter. Take the time to find the right home for every single item you own. This should only be done after you’ve finished discarding the items that no longer give you joy.
The clearing process naturally perpetuates itself. Once you experience the pleasure of having an immaculate wardrobe with clothes that give you joy, you will feel keen to apply the joy filter to every single item in your life. What about course materials or notes from seminars you’ve taken? If you haven’t implemented the learnings yet and fully intend to, then take the course again and this time, apply the concepts to your life right away. It is highly unlikely that you’ll refer back to the binders if you haven’t already, so you can safely toss those out.
No wonder we end up feeling overwhelmed by all there is to do in life—we keep way too much of these “some day” projects around with the vague intention that we’ll get around to it. Get real. If you want to study it, sign up for a course now. If now is not the time, toss the course materials because when you are ready to take the course, the materials you have will be out-of-date anyway.
As you get in touch with what gives you joy, you’ll find this process becomes even easier. My client Ed, on his first pass, threw out stuff he hadn’t used in one year. Now he is looking at stuff he hasn’t used in six months. He ended up giving his slow cooker to one sister and the food processor to the other. Ed had all these kitchen appliances packed in a closet because his kitchen was about the size of a peanut. This led to an interesting phenomenon: he began to value his space more than his stuff. In fact, he started to feel that things were invading his space.
This was a major turnaround for a hoarder who kept things that would be worth 10 cents at a garage sale. Over time, more benefits started to accrue that Ed hadn’t anticipated. His file drawer at work actually had room for new documents. When he was looking for something, he could find it within minutes instead of wasting countless hours digging through stacks of papers on his desk. At home, Ed could open the closet door without anything falling down and hitting him on the head. His thinking got clearer, and he started noticing things around him that he hadn’t noticed before. Then he met a woman he liked and, for a change, wasn’t ashamed to invite her to his home after a romantic night out.
Ed kept reminding himself that stuff is just stuff. This Chinese proverb keeps things in perspective: “To pretend to satisfy one’s desires by possession is like using straw to put out a fire.”
Keep only the things you really love. Do not worry if you end up discarding huge amounts of stuff. This is the perfect way to start living your ideal life, choosing only that which gives you joy in every area. Don’t force yourself to throw away certain things that have value for you now. On the other hand, distinguish between that which used to bring joy but has lost its charm. You might have once loved that painting, but now your tastes have changed. You can safely let go of the belongings that no longer represent you or enhance your life. It might be a useful vase, but do you really love it? Often one lovely vase on a shelf is more stunning than five vases jammed together. Pass things on to someone who will appreciate them. As you learn to focus on what gives you joy, letting go of the little things—clothes, furniture, books—it will be easier to let go of the big things—an unfulfilling job or a relationship that isn’t right for you.