TIP 98
PLAY MORE
It is the child in man that is the source of his uniqueness and creativeness, and the playground is the optimal milieu for the unfolding of his capacities and talents.
It is easy to get too busy for the things we really enjoy—those activities that nurture you, that give you energy. But at some point, you have to stop and ask yourself, “What is the point of doing all this work if I don’t have time to enjoy myself?”
When I begin coaching new clients, I ask them to start doing more of the things they really enjoy. The sad fact is that, more often than not, they can’t even think of anything. Playing rejuvenates and energizes you so you can go back to your work with enthusiasm and joy. Any job, no matter how fulfilling, becomes drudgery if it is not balanced with sufficient play. You need play to be your best, most successful self.
One of the ways to figure out your “flow” activities (Tip 55) is to think back to what you did for fun when you were a little kid. When you were young, you weren’t weighed down by adult responsibilities, and you instinctively did things that increased your energy. If you can’t remember, ask your mother or father what you did for fun when you were little.
When I was a little girl, my mother would frequently find me sitting in the middle of a mud puddle playing away, having the time of my life, covered head to toe in mud. I guess I have a natural affinity for mud. The adult version of this activity is pottery. It’s really just an excuse to get my hands in a whole lot of mud, and I love it.
I had a particularly busy period in my life when I was working full time at the bank and starting a coaching practice in the evenings. My boyfriend complained that he didn’t get to see me much anymore, so I stopped doing pottery. My family started to ask when I was going to do pottery again; they missed getting the pretty bowls and plates. I signed up for one month at the studio, figuring that for one month, my boyfriend wouldn’t mind. A surprising thing happened. After the first morning spent making pots, I met my boyfriend for a late brunch. I was so relaxed, happy, and fun to be with that he said, “You really should do pottery more often.” And there I was cutting out this nurturing activity so I’d have more time for him. Make time in your life to play. The success of the activity depends on being totally present in the moment. It could be reading, hiking, painting, dancing, playing basketball, coaching soccer, cooking—do whatever it is for you.
My client Anton was a superb soccer player, but he had given it up because he just didn’t have time for it anymore. I advised him to cut something else out and put soccer back in, because when he was playing soccer, he was totally turned on about life and full of vitality. He started playing soccer again and reduced a sideline business instead. Much to his surprise, his primary business results started to skyrocket almost overnight. He was flooded with new clients. He didn’t need to work harder to make money; he needed to play harder. The high flow activity of playing soccer gave him the energy he needed for the rest of his activities.
You’ll be more successful if you play because flow activities not only give you energy, they also provide deep personal satisfaction.