TIP 40
SET ASIDE SACRED EVENINGS
To survive we must begin to know sacredness. The pace at which most of us live prevents this.
A sacred evening is just that: an evening you reserve for yourself to do exactly as you please, whether that is going for a stroll in the park, taking a bubble bath, getting a massage, reading a book, going to a concert, or just doing nothing at all. It is a time for you to be by yourself, to play, to rest, to relax. You have nothing planned or scheduled. It is sacred because you must hold it as inviolable time. That which is sacred is separate from mundane activity and set apart for a higher purpose. If you don’t take sacred time for yourself, it will get scheduled away like the rest of your life.
If you do creative work, want to come up with more creative ideas at work, or finally want to begin that novel or screenplay you’ve been wanting to write, then reserving a sacred evening is even more essential. In her book, The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron writes about the importance of taking yourself out on an “artist’s date” once a week to fuel your creativity. You could go buy some paints and play around with them, see an opera, or visit a museum that inspires you. The point is to do one thing a week to nurture your creative self. I loved this idea and regularly took an artist’s date when I was writing this book and never once hit writer’s block.
It doesn’t matter whether you are a painter, a writer, or a business person who wants to come up with creative solutions; the exercise is extremely helpful for any creative project. The more you feed and nurture your creative nature, the more the creative ideas come. I found having a weekly massage also helps keep the creative juices flowing (Tip 84).
If you have kids, it is 10 times more important that you give yourself sacred evenings. You need time to engage in adult activities and time to be totally selfish (Tip 87). Then, when you are with the kids, you’ll find that you are glad to be with them. I have two sisters, one a year older and one a year younger, and my mother stayed home to raise us. I just recently found out that when we were little, on occasion she would go to the grocery store just to be around other adults—she was starved for grown-up conversation. You need these sacred evenings—it’s not optional.
Look at your calendar, take out a yellow highlighter, and block off those free evenings. Block off at least one night a week. Married with children? This is not a problem. Each spouse can each give the other a night off once a week. Make this a legitimate evening off rather than sneaking out and feeling guilty about it. My husband has a night each week to volunteer for the Royal National Life Boat Institute (like the Coast Guard in the United States), which he loves doing as it adds excitement and adventure to his life as well as fulfilling his value to help others. I go out Wednesday nights singing in a local choir group with my girlfriends, which is great fun. My husband and I also have a weekly date night, but I’ll cover that later in Tip 46. We have two kids, so getting out to do adult activities is really important! Let your partner do whatever he or she wants on your mutual sacred evening. Then when you are together, you’ll be relaxed, refreshed, and happier.