TIP 59
GET SOME PERSPECTIVE
The power that makes grass grow, fruit ripen, and guides the bird in flight is in us all.
If you are still struggling to find your path in life, you may need to take a retreat from your current life and get a broader perspective. Sometimes we need to get outside of our lives to see what it is that really fulfills us. When we are caught up in daily demands and obligations, it can be difficult to imagine life being any other way. The ideal can seem so impossibly far away that it ends up depressing instead of inspiring a person. If this is the case for you, it is high time to head for the hills.
There are lots of different ways to take a retreat from your life. You could pack your bags and stay at a bed-and-breakfast or a cabin in the woods. You might house-sit for a friend who has an empty beach house in the winter. In general, it is a good idea to leave your own house if you can because there always seems to be something to do in our own home—the laundry, the fridge light bulb to replace, and such. When you are at someone else’s house or an inn, you don’t have to worry about that stuff because it isn’t your problem. There are all manner of places where you can get away from the hectic pace of your own life. When I felt stressed-out, I’d spend a weekend at a yoga ranch and felt completely rejuvenated. Try to go away for at least three days if you can, but if you can’t spare the time, even one day away can make a difference. Go as often as you can to relax. Many monasteries allow people to stay for free or for minimal donations. For a list of such retreats check out the book Sanctuaries: The Complete United States: A Guide to Lodgings in Monasteries, Abbeys, and Retreats, by Jack and Marcia Kelly. Pack a simple bag with minimal clothes and a journal to record your thoughts in; and that is about it. Avoid the temptation to bring too much stuff with you—remember, the point is to get away from it all.
Sometimes, however, you may not even have the energy or the finances to leave your home. Perhaps you don’t have the vacation time available and still need to work. In this case, you can take a retreat in your own home or stay with a family member. If you live alone, this is fairly easy. You can tell your significant other and your friends that you are taking a retreat and you’ll be away for the week. Start your day with a special ritual, and when you come home from work, light a candle, meditate, or do something that helps relieve the work stress and reminds you that you are on retreat. Try to eliminate most of the petty annoyances (Tip 1) and pay your bills and do other chores before you start your retreat, just as you would before leaving on a vacation. Use the evenings to think, read books, take baths, go for long walks, or listen to music. Do not watch TV or engage in any other addictions (Tip 32). That defeats the whole purpose.
After living in Manhattan for a year and a half, I finally left to go home to Arizona for Christmas. I fell asleep on the plane, and when I awoke, it was dark. I lifted up the window shade and gasped. There were millions of stars! I was shocked because I had forgotten about the stars. In Manhattan, because of all the city lights and pollution, you are lucky if you see two or three stars in the sky, if you even bother to look up at night. But in the desert, you can see billions of them. Seeing the stars in the sky made me feel humble—just a tiny speck in this huge cosmos. They gave me perspective, reminding me that my problems are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I thought, “That explains why some New Yorkers think they are at the center of the world and that every place pales in comparison—they can’t see the stars and have lost perspective.” Nature is a great healer. If you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or out of balance, go out and enjoy nature—look at the stars in your own backyard. It will restore and rejuvenate you. It will put whatever problems you have in perspective.
What if you have a family? It may seem impossible to take even a weekend retreat, but you may be able to do so with a little help from your family. Ask grandparents or other family members to take the kids for one weekend and stay at home in peace and quiet. I recommend that you take a retreat from your relationship too. We all need time alone now and then, and when you come back, you and your significant other will both appreciate each other more (Tip 40).
Get creative and find some way to get perspective on your life.