TIP 25
GO ON A MONEY DIET
Wealth consists not in having possessions but in having few wants.
In our consumer-based society, it is easy to forget that money can’t buy happiness. But the latest research indicates that it may be even worse than we thought. According to the New York Times article, “In Pursuit of Affluence, at a High Price,” Alfie Kohn states, “Not only does having more things prove to be unfulfilling, but people for whom affluence is a priority in life tend to experience an unusual degree of anxiety and depression as well as a lower overall level of well-being.” The psychological researchers cited in the article found that “pursuing goals that reflect genuine human needs, like wanting to feel connected to others, turns out to be more psychologically beneficial than spending one’s life trying to impress others or to accumulate trendy clothes, fancy gizmos, and the money to keep buying them. The latter quest may amount to using compensation to try to compensate for something more meaningful.” Dr. Richard Ryan concludes, “The more we seek satisfactions in material goods, the less we find them there.… The satisfaction has a short half-life; it’s very fleeting.” This makes a strong case for abandoning extrinsic material goals and instead focusing on developing better relationships and becoming a better human being—the heart of this coaching program. What’s more, as you identify and fulfill your emotional needs, your need to spend will decrease (Tips 43 and 44). However, as the lure of commercialism is undeniably potent, you may need to take some drastic action to break your buying habits and start discovering the deeper pleasures in life.
One of the fastest ways to break the spending habit is to go on a money diet. Or you could call it a spending fast. For 30 days, stop spending. Make no purchases whatsoever other than the bare essentials like toilet paper, toothpaste, groceries, and so on. Hold off on all other purchases. It is okay to make a list of the things you’d like to buy, but during the 30-day period, do not buy anything. Go grocery shopping once a week, and do not buy that pack of gum or that magazine at the checkout. The best thing is to make sure that you have all the essentials on hand before you begin the money diet. If you want to buy gifts for weddings or birthdays coming up, buy those in advance, too. That way you will decrease the temptation of going into the store. It is okay to keep your housekeeper and other assistants unless you are feeling financially strapped. At the first sign of financial stress, immediately cut all your extraneous expenses, and you will feel much better. When your financial situation improves, you can always resume your services. It isn’t worth the stress to live on the edge.
Rebecca, a stay-at-home mom with three kids, was quite the shopper. The idea of the money diet intrigued her though. It was a challenge—could she not spend for one month and live? This would be a major breakthrough for someone who needed a regular shopping fix. When she tried the money diet, she realized that spending is the quick, but not necessarily creative, solution to a problem. Spending is a habit that can easily turn into an addiction.
Rebecca had been doing fairly well at not spending money and was finding a wealth of resources that she had never noticed before. Since she couldn’t buy books, she found herself at the public library and discovered an amazing and underutilized resource. She could check out books, try them out at home, and return them at no cost. This solved two problems: she didn’t have to pay for them and she didn’t have to find a place to store them. What a deal! For entertainment, she couldn’t go to the movies, but once again, she could check out movies for free at the library. Libraries even have music to check out. She almost slipped and bought a canvas book bag on sale at the library until she realized that she could carry the books in a plastic grocery bag just as well and save the money.
Then, since she couldn’t grab bagels and muffins for the kids for breakfast, she decided to make breakfast at home and made a much healthier meal of buckwheat pancakes and fresh fruit. This became a pleasant family ritual, and Rebecca felt better knowing her family was eating a healthier breakfast. She was beginning to discover that spending wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
What about exercise? Rebecca wanted to take a yoga class and discovered that there was a free one once a week at the gym. Then she checked out a yoga DVD at the library for free and got her kids involved, too. She packed a few sandwiches and went for long walks along the beach with her husband instead of their going to dinner and a movie. They found time to talk about their life and make plans together, which improved their relationship as well. She traded one night a week babysitting with a friend who also had kids, so she didn’t even have to pay for a sitter.
Going on a money diet helped Rebecca get in touch with the simple pleasures of life that are so rich. She discovered all sorts of free activities that she would have missed if she hadn’t been on the money diet. She found it was fun to come up with creative solutions. In fact, she had so much fun the first month that she decided to try it for another month and see what else she could learn. Oh, I almost forgot— Rebecca saved $500 dollars on this diet. Anyone who has been on a food diet will find the money diet a piece of cake.
Once you have broken the spending habit, you will discover the joy of saving. Extra money is a very nice thing to have. It gives you a wonderful sense of security along with the freedom and independence to do what you want—and who wouldn’t want that?