TIP 58
FIND YOUR PATH IN LIFE
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.
People who know what they want to do in life, people who have a game plan, a vision, a purpose, or even a big goal are more successful than those who don’t. If you have a sense of purpose or a direction to head in, you’ll naturally attract people who are interested in going in the same direction. Even if they aren’t interested, they might become interested because you are having so much fun along the way.
What is your purpose in life? What are you here to accomplish and learn? What’s in your soul and your heart to do? This may be something as simple as to have fun and bring fun to those around you. Write your purpose in the form of a statement. Here are some possibilities:
• My purpose is to learn and love as fully as possible.
• My purpose is to be a catalyst for change and growth.
• My purpose is to have a great time and laugh a lot.
• My purpose is to become financially independent and raise a healthy, happy family.
• My purpose is to be a happy traveler.
A purpose doesn’t have to be earth-shattering in scope, although it could be. You might have a big vision like Bill Gates’s—a computer on every desk, running Microsoft software—or Martin Luther King, Jr.’s—equality for all people. My own vision is to make top-quality coaching accessible and affordable to everyone who wants it by designing and providing excellent online coaching programs. You don’t have to change the world. Start small with something for your family, your block, or your neighborhood (Tip 56).
Don’t worry if you don’t have a purpose yet. It is very possible that your life’s purpose will find you when you start living a life oriented around your unique talents and values. I stumbled upon my own purpose just this way—creating an affordable online coaching program in the middle of the world’s worst recession because I could see that when people most needed coaching, they couldn’t afford it.
If you can solve a problem that many people are experiencing, big or little, you may well have created a purpose for your life. I’m thinking of the woman who invented Spanx undergarments out of her own personal frustration. She had bought a pair of white trousers and couldn’t find an undergarment that worked with them, so she designed her own. She is now extremely successful. I doubt that she was born thinking that her life purpose was to help women look much better in clothes, but that is exactly what she’s done.
Some of my clients find that even thinking about a life purpose is overwhelming, so instead I suggest that they create a theme for the year and you can try and do the same. The theme can be anything you want—fun, adventure, romance, love, calmness, balance, play, joy, peace, laughter, work—whatever you want. If you don’t like it, you can always pick another.
After a particularly stressful year in which my mother and father-in-law had to move into separate nursing homes, I yearned for simplicity and peace. To remind myself, I posted an index card on my office bulletin board with the words “Peace and Simplicity,” and whenever a choice was to be made, I considered whether it would create peace in our lives or not. This made decision making very easy. Or perhaps you would prefer to have a different theme for each month. With a purpose for the month or the year, you know what to focus on, and it is easier to say yes or no as opportunities arise. Not sure what your purpose in life is? Then perhaps it is time to get some perspective.