TIP 32
SWITCH OFF AND UNPLUG
[Watching television] is a one-way transaction that requires the taking in of particular sensory material in a particular way, no matter what the material might be. There is, indeed, no other experience in a [person’s] life that permits quite so much intake while demanding so little outflow.
In his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares decades of study on “optimal experience”—those times when people are happiest that make life worth living. His investigations have revealed that genuinely satisfying experiences occur in a state of consciousness called “flow”—a state of focused and intense concentration in which there is a feeling of transcendence. Csikszentmihalyi outlines numerous different activities and determines whether they are “high flow” or “low flow.” High-flow activities require focus and concentration; your mind is actively engaged in what you are doing. Not surprisingly, watching television is one of the lowest-flow activities.
This study confirmed what I always suspected: TV drains your energy. When have you switched off the television after watching a program and said, “I’m going to start writing that great American novel now”? In fact, do you ever feel like doing anything after watching TV? The same goes for other insidious time-wasters that can take over our lives before we know it—playing computer games or apps, watching movies, surfing the Internet, chatting on social media, and so on. After you’ve tracked your time (Tip 31), you’ll know how much of your life is being eaten up with brain-numbing, unfulfilling activities.
Television, social media, and computer games are addictive in much the same way that food, caffeine, gambling, alcohol, or any other overused substance or activity is addictive. Not only are these considered socially acceptable addictions, like caffeine, but they are even socially encouraged. Even if you don’t particularly enjoy them, you may find yourself watching television or chatting on social media just because everybody else is. The typical American watches over 6 hours of TV a day. That adds up to an extra 42 hours of time a week—enough for a full-time job! Coming in at a close second are social media. According to the latest research, Americans spend an average of 3.2 hours per day on social media. Saudi Arabians spend the most time, averaging 5.1 hours daily, and the world-wide average is 3.6 hours a day. That is 25.2 hours a week for most Americans. And you thought you didn’t have enough time.
As an experiment, for a whole week, give your TV to a friend or unplug it and hide it in the closet, sign off from social media, answer your e-mails only twice a day, and stop surfing the Internet. You’ll be shocked to see how much time you’ll have. You may even find yourself wandering around the house wondering what to do.
One client used to watch a morning news program while he was getting ready for work. He thought this was an efficient use of his time—he liked the program and got the news and weather—a great way to start the day. I suggested that he stop watching TV in the morning for one week. He was amazed. He felt more peaceful and organized. He thought he’d miss not knowing what was going on in the world, but he realized that he picked up the news by scanning the headlines in the newsstands. Now he enjoys his peaceful mornings and feels less stressed throughout the day.
Joanne, a 40-something recent divorcée, complained that she didn’t have any dates. I asked her what she did in the evenings and wasn’t terribly surprised to hear that she watched TV. Even if she was just puttering about the house, she would leave the TV on so the house wouldn’t seem too quiet. The danger of watching TV is that it can give you the illusion that you are with other people because you are watching them while the TV, in effect, keeps you company. Obviously, this isn’t fulfilling because you aren’t interacting with anyone. I suggested that Joanne cut out all TV cold turkey for one week. She couldn’t do it. She was clearly addicted.
We came up with another plan. I told Joanne to make a list of all the fun activities or courses she had always wanted to do or take, but never seemed to have the time for. She wanted to do some volunteer work, take dance classes, and run a marathon. She joined a marathon training program that raised money from sponsors for charity. This accomplished three of her goals (she wanted to get in shape too). Then, she signed up for a dance class in her community. All of a sudden, she found that she didn’t miss TV at all and that her social life started to percolate. She had more energy and even got up the nerve to answer a personal ad. On the way to the restaurant to meet the fellow, she got lost somewhere in Soho, and two attractive Italians helped her find the place. Somehow they got her phone number in the process. The next day they called and invited her to a party in the Hamptons, where she met a very handsome film producer. They hit it off and she is now in a wonderful relationship.
One German reader reported that this tip helped him win the Mr. Germany competition. He said he used to spend his evenings watching TV and after reading this book, realized he wanted to be the person people were watching on TV instead! He unplugged the TV and spent his evenings working out at the gym and building an amazing physique which, in combination with Tips 66 and 92, enabled him to win the coveted title.
Try limiting your TV viewing to consciously selected programs, and turn the set off when they are over or better yet, record them so you aren’t tempted to watch the show after too. Decide how many hours a week you want to spend on computer games or surfing the Internet and stick to it. Use an alarm clock so you don’t lose track of how much time you’ve been on. Beware! Television and other electronic distractions are more costly than you realize and actually reduce your ability to attract what you want in life.