TIP 77
CONVERT COMPLIMENTS INTO ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.
One simple and highly effective way to attract success is to convert your compliments into acknowledgments. People get compliments fairly often: “Oh, what a lovely sweater.” “You sure look handsome today!” Don’t get me wrong. Compliments are great, but acknowledgments are even better. An acknowledgment is about who the person is, while a compliment is usually about what the person has or does. For example, “Robert, I really appreciate the support you’ve shown by coming all the way out from New Jersey to attend this workshop. Your presence lights up the whole room.” That’s an acknowledgment; it is very personal and leaves Robert feeling great about himself. There’s nothing wrong with a compliment, but you’ll be more attractive if you convert your compliments into acknowledgments.
Think of some way you can acknowledge someone for who they are, and be as specific as possible. Don’t just say, “You’re terrific.” Say, “You’re a great speaker. I admire how gracefully you handled that rude comment.” Or, “You are a generous and loving person. You know just the right thing to say to make a person feel good.” Instead of saying to the cook, “What a delicious dinner!” you could say, “This is a superb meal. Your attention to detail is incredible. Not only is this delicious, but it is artistically and beautifully presented.” People will want to be around you if you are in the habit of giving acknowledgments. You will be energized because it feels really good to give acknowledgments. Change this one little thing, and you’ll immediately attract people to you.
At a workshop, I was demonstrating the difference between giving a compliment and an acknowledgment. I told one gentleman that he had a very handsome tie. He said thanks. Then I picked a woman and looked her right in the eye and said, “Thank you for being here. You light up the room with your presence, and your comments have forwarded the discussion for the whole group.” This was true, but I was demonstrating a point. The acknowledgment was so powerful that she was moved to tears. After the workshop, she came up to me and thanked me. Then she invited me out to dinner with a group of her friends and gave me a personal tour of her city. We are in contact to this day thanks to the power of a single acknowledgment.