TIP 81
DRESS THE PART
I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want—an adorable pancreas?
My grandmother always says, “If it isn’t 100 percent, don’t buy it.” How many times have you bought something, a new suit, a sweater, that wasn’t quite right, but it was a good price? You take it home, wear it once or twice, and then it sits in your closet, taking up space, making you feel guilty because it is too new to give away. If you have to ask, “Do I look good in this?” it probably isn’t right. It is either flattering or not. The next time you are out shopping, don’t buy it if it doesn’t fit perfectly. In fact, don’t buy it if it doesn’t pass through your joy filter, or it will end up becoming clutter.
This goes for damaged goods too. How many times have you bought something that was on sale because it was missing a button or the zipper was broken, and you thought you could get a new button or replace the zipper, but you never did? Perhaps you loved the color, but hardly wear it because the fabric is too scratchy. Imagine how wonderful it would be to open your closet door and know that everything you have makes you look great and gives you joy. It is much easier to attract success if you feel great—whether you are just hanging around the house in your cozy cardigan or out on the town in a fabulous tuxedo. Why not feel like a million bucks all the time?
You may want to enlist a trusted friend who has an excellent sense of style and fashion or hire a professional image consultant to help you weed out the unflattering pieces and design a wardrobe that really makes you feel and look your best. The initial investment in professional help will save you a small fortune down the line because you’ll know which colors, fabrics, and styles look great on you and which do not. A professional can help you find the most flattering shapes, styles, and colors, and then you can stick with them for the rest of your life. Our image is a key element in our sense of self and is a visual representation of our inner self. As Carolyn Gustafson, a terrific image consultant, aptly puts it, “In order to feel good about how we look, we must feel that we look like who we are.”
Marilyn, an administrative assistant at an investment company, hired me because she was frustrated with her work. She had been working for the same company for 21 years and felt unappreciated by her boss. She felt she was getting nowhere and was bored with her job. Marilyn started the coaching program, and one of her first assignments was to clean out her closet. I referred her to a fabulous image consultant, who gave her wardrobe a complete overhaul. First, she worked with Marilyn to determine which were her most flattering colors. Marilyn was thrilled with the final selection and realized that for the rest of her life shopping would be a breeze—no more wondering if this was the best color or not. Then the consultant went to Marilyn’s house and went through her closet, weeding items out one by one. If it was the wrong color, out it went. Stained or out-of-date? Out! Too tight or too loose? Out or to the tailor. In no time, Marilyn had a huge pile of clothes on the floor and about three suits left in her closet. The image consultant did the same for Marilyn’s scarves, bags, shoes, jewelry, and makeup. Then they went shopping to fill in the gaps, and Marilyn came home with a few perfect suits and a whole new image. She was no longer stiff and conservative, but elegant, classy, and soft. Marilyn not only felt terrific with her new look, but she had a powerful sense of confidence knowing that she looked as good as she possibly could.
This inner confidence paid off at work. After four months of coaching, Marilyn had a new job in the same company and had been promoted to client relationship manager with a salary increase, too. She loves the department she is working in and the people she is working with. She has blasted through her old image of being the downtrodden assistant and has started asking for what she wants—and getting it (Tip 44). Marilyn feels more attractive inside and out and more confident than ever.
Gordon, a polished and successful sales executive, had recently received a promotion and was now golfing and dining with senators, senior executives, and other high-level professionals. He was a laid-back, funny fellow who made people comfortable and always had a joke to share. However, with the new responsibilities of his job he was suddenly self-conscious, and his usual sense of humor disappeared overnight. Although Gordon was already well-dressed, I referred him to my image consultant to take his image up to the next level. She recommended some subtle changes that brought his wardrobe up a notch, helped him pick out a stylish new pair of eyeglasses and a new haircut. These subtle changes made a big difference in his overall appearance. Knowing that he looks the part, Gordon has lost his self-consciousness and is now back to cracking jokes—with senators.
A key part of looking your best is giving your body the best and most nutritious foods. For clear skin, bright eyes, and healthy hair and nails, your body needs the right fuel. Everybody is unique, and what works well for one person may add pounds to another. If you have an eating disorder or are seriously overweight, seek qualified professionals to help you. Life is too short to spend all our time obsessing about food and weight. One busy client didn’t have the time or energy to prepare nutritious home-cooked meals so she hired a cook to do it for her. She thought it would cost a lot but figured it was worth the investment. At the end of the month, she realized she was actually saving money because she was spending so much less dining out and grabbing snacks on the run. Many cities now have excellent meal preparation and delivery services. If you find making healthy meals a chore, get the support you need, whether that is a nutritionist or a food service to ensure a healthy diet so you can focus on the more interesting things in life.