Images

8

SEE EVERYBODY

Those on the Margins Often Have Greater Perspective

Attention is an unapologetic discriminator. To avert one’s gaze from a fellow human being erases that person’s existence. To lock eyes, even briefly, creates a connection, a validation that in this instance, we are here together. We turn our eyes away from what we think we shouldn’t see because it will embarrass us—or the other person. Opting to look into the distance when approaching another individual communicates “you don’t matter.” In contrast, looking/seeing and making eye contact with a colleague confers respect. Unfortunately, the privilege of being seen is not equally distributed in organizational life. Failing to acknowledge the presence of the people we work with reinforces a destructive hierarchy. In today’s digitally connected world, many workers are out of sight, yet we recognize their contributions and value them as team members. But the flesh-and-blood janitors polishing your floor and cleaning your lavatory mirrors may remain invisible. They see you, but do you see them?

When the printer runs out of toner, the toilet backs up, the heat isn’t on, and the windows won’t open, you feel the discomfort. When you are locked out of the office and no one’s answering your call to get in and suddenly the after-hours security guard appears, the imperceptible ultimately makes itself felt. This is how the cosmos works. An invisible mass alters the orbit of a comet; dark energy accelerates a supernova; the earth’s magnetic field tugs on birds, sea turtles, and the compasses of mariners. The whole realm of the visible is compelled by the invisible. Make sure the fullness of your vocational universe stays in focus. To connect first, open your eyes to all that surrounds you.

THIS IS FOR YOU IF

•   Everyone matters, and you want to let them know.

•   You can be dismissive or rude.

•   Support staff deliver incomplete materials or are slow to fulfill your requests.

•   Walking around the office is a chance for you to get lost in your own head.

•   When you attend meetings with people you don’t recognize, you look past them because you are either busy or shy.

TAKE ACTION

Images   As you enter and exit your building, take a second to catch the gaze of the people opening your door, sorting the mail, or cleaning the floor. Tell me right now, can you describe the design of their uniforms or recall what color their shirts were? Go back and reenter. Pretend you forgot something in the car.

Images   Before you begin a meeting, scan the room. Have you made eye contact with everyone? Yes, everyone.

Images   Be intentional with your focus. Ask yourself if you would be proud if a secret camera in your retina played back what you have been watching.

Images   Watch the tendency to become overly focused on one person to the exclusion of others. The competition gets an edge when you restrict the definition of who’s important. We’ve all done it: caring too much about one person’s opinion can make the rest of the world evaporate. Ask your spouse or roommate if you say one person’s name more than any other when you talk about work.

Images   Put your phone in your pocket while walking. Reducing multitasking enhances your vision.

Images   Take a walk with someone different than yourself and open yourself up to focusing on (and being introduced to) the people they know.

Images   Remember, what you choose to see is the foundation of change.

KEEP IN MIND

•   Look, don’t stare! This is about making eye contact, not being creepy.

•   If eyes are the window to the soul, wearing sunglasses pulls down the blinds and blocks the personal connection. Put your shades away.

CASE STUDIES

Why Can’t You Look at Me?

After strenuous negotiating, Carol’s boss, Sean, finally made sure that the legal department sent her a new contract (five months late). That stung. Carol brought the forms to Sean’s office to sign, which he did in a perfunctory way and tossed them back at her across the desk. The money wasn’t what she’d hoped for. The delay made her wonder why she worked so hard for him. The indifferent attitude when she asked for his signature made Carol want to quit. “Why couldn’t he at least look me in the eye and say, ‘I look forward to working with you over the next two years’?” Carol went back to her desk and started updating her resume.

Really See, Don’t Just Be, with People

Rain was pelting down as I slipped on mud on the unpaved path leading up to Miguel’s home in one of the favelas outside of Sao Paulo. I had met Miguel previously through a Brazilian NGO called Instituto Rukha, which connected impoverished families to potential social services. My travel companions were partners in a well-respected international firm, and they wanted to meet representatives of the prospective workforce for the Brazilian-based World Cup and Olympic Games. Miguel had agreed to host a conversation in his home, which would expose the realities of life in a community that lacks basic services and receives limited public investment.

The executives sloshing up the hill put their hands (without asking permission) on the shoulders of the people walking beside them in hopes of steadying their step. They tossed their coats and umbrellas into the willing hands of our volunteer interpreters. The favela visit ended, and over lunch at my urging, the executives finally asked the interpreters to say something about themselves. Much to their surprise, our casually dressed, very helpful “assistants” were the heads of family offices, a large consultancy, and a major construction firm. They had volunteered their services in exchange for visiting communities they had only seen from a distance. In many instances our volunteers were leaders of the very companies the executive team was in town to pitch! “I am so sorry. If only I had known, I never would have treated you like that.” Our site visit taught the corporate team about Brazil, but more importantly, it revealed a great deal about themselves.

Although the executives prided themselves on being well-mannered and self-aware, they realized that they easily ignored people standing right beside them, or more accurately, failed to “see” and engage with them. The next day I noticed the corporate team members going out of their way to say hello to the hotel chambermaids and talking to the porters as they loaded luggage into the cars. When they entered our meeting rooms there was a concerted effort to look at and acknowledge all the members of our team (and theirs).

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