To Learn More, Listen (Quietly) for a Long Time

“Listen to inspire” was the guidance offered by my South African colleague, Marian Goodman, faculty at the Presencing Institute. Marian recommends that listeners stay silent and rely on other senses to encourage the speaker to express what’s on their mind.

I applied this technique during a workshop held in Bermuda for the tight-knit community of insurance industry executives. The topic was “Learning from Fabulous Failures.” Although the attendees worked for competing companies, all were motivated to move beyond mutually damaging missteps. In pairs, people took turns being the mouth (the person sharing a story) or the ears (the listener) for five minutes at a time. Do you know what happens when someone listens attentively while a partner shares personal mistakes—for five whole minutes? Across the board the pattern was remarkably similar. Telling the “facts” took a minute or two and felt like a long time—but not as long as the awkward silence for the next 30–60 seconds. The fourth minute was when the feelings came out, and in the fifth more details were revealed along with a deeper sense of personal remorse. The mouths surprised themselves with their candor. They were far more open in sharing than they had initially intended or expected to be. The group observed that in the course of a typical workday, it’s rare to give a colleague five minutes of uninterrupted listening. We all agreed that novel ideas would emerge and mistakes would surface (and be addressed) if we periodically shut up and listen!

A Great Leader Listens

Logan performs verbal pyrotechnics. He walks through the audience, makes timely references, cracks jokes, has a story or a slide for every instance. He seems to see into the future. Each year, since he has been CEO, Logan holds a global team meeting. He paints his vision, and everyone is excited. And then they return to their offices and have no clue how to enact the plan. When Logan visits the company offices during the year, he’s busy meeting clients and talking to the regional heads. He’s featured in the newspaper and meets with local politicians. What he isn’t doing is listening to the people “struggling to do the work.”

As his coach, I heard it over and over from his direct reports and the staff who reported to them. Logan and I agreed he would go on a one-month listening tour. He met with small groups in the regions. Employees from all levels. No microphones to amplify his messages; only his ears to receive the comments made by employees. At the conclusion of the tour, Logan held a video town hall in which he shared what he had learned and provided practical direction for the upcoming year. He left plenty of room to go off script and to respond to questions that the audience sent in real time over text. Logan boosted morale by naming people who provided inspiration during his interviews. He instilled a greater sense of meaning for the organization, as the staff could better understand how their actions were tied to a big vision. And Logan found that eating in the staff cafeteria could be a lot more fun than dining in fancy restaurants with dignitaries.