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BE PRACTICALLY OPTIMISTIC

Instill Hope

True failure is turning away from opportunity because you don’t want to face your fear.

—TIFFANY PHAM, author of You Are a Mogul

Join me as a guest on the Worldview game show. As a contestant, you get to pick which door you want to walk through. Behind door number one is denial, conflict avoidance, and clinging to what could have been but isn’t. Behind door number two is experimentation, ambition, and possibility. Deciding to adopt an optimistic perspective will have positive effects on your mood and the people around you, increase motivation and engagement, and promote innovation. Do you want to take a few more minutes before you choose? Really, it’s up to you. And it is a choice. Even if you default naturally to more dire assumptions, you can train your mind to see opportunity.

Israeli artist Paz Perlman explained to me that the Hebrew word for reality is Images (meh-tsee-OOT)—“that which is found.” It shares the same root as the word Images (Lhamtzi), which means “to invent.” It’s a dynamic, changing view of what is. In contrast, in the Western vernacular, the “real” in reality is static, fixed. You can’t argue with it. When someone says, “The reality of the situation is . . .” they are asserting an immutable state of affairs.

I believe you can make a clear-eyed, reasoned assessment of a situation, no matter how grim, and identify paths toward a positive outcome. We wake up every morning knowing lots of stuff is broken, and more stuff is about to break. Stuff that can make life glum. The glaciers are melting, people are starving, politicians are acting in their own interest. There’s been a fire, an earthquake, another mass shooting. A chain of disappointments awaits at work. Yet a practical optimist knows that, despite how broken things can be around them, if you can survive the day-to-day fractures, the arc of growth will bend in the right direction. The aim is to keep going and maintain faith in what’s possible.

I’m not taken by the con that everything is great, but I do believe that people and groups are capable of great things. I called this chapter “Be Practically Optimistic,” playing on the double meaning of practically: “almost” (not fully, but mostly optimistic) and “pragmatic” (not blind to the facts). When you walk through door number two, you see life’s realities and possibilities, you choose hope rather than fear.

Many managers and employees focus primarily on what isn’t working. Studs Terkel interviewed workers from all walks of life for his book Working. He opens with a brutal observation, “This book, being about work, is by its very nature about violence—to the spirit as well as the body.” Does it have to be this way? The most productive professionals incorporate the right amount of optimism, nurturing a belief among employees that something good will come out of their work. This doesn’t mean you are shiny and happy all day, but it does mean that you don’t bow to the shrine of problems and retreat when things get tough.

“Being optimistic goes far deeper than just positive thinking,” warns Dr. Gabriele Oettingen, a professor of psychology. She tells a joke about a guy who dreams of winning the lottery. After years of desperate fantasizing, he cries out for God’s help. Down from heaven comes God’s advice: “Would you buy a ticket already?!” Dr. Oettingen dispels the notion that dreams will inspire us to act. Her research demonstrates that wishing alone (blind optimism) doesn’t lead to success. Instead, it tricks our minds intro believing we have attained the desired goal, and we become complacent. Dr. Oettingen and her colleagues developed a technique called mental contrasting or WOOP (see the Take Action section below). Rather than simply fantasizing about success, you imagine your desired result and conjure up the ways your own behaviors will get in the way. And then you make a plan to conquer the obstacles. Sorry to burst your bubble, but a “you can do it” attitude only goes so far. Dreaming big is great, but you must also take the practical steps to turn it into a reality. Want to experience success and joy at work? Set ambitious targets, have the courage to consider the obstacles, and remember to rejoice when you conquer them.

THIS IS FOR YOU IF

•   You prefer a warm glow to being frozen with fear.

•   Opening vistas has greater appeal than cranky cynicism.

TAKE ACTION

Images   Pessimism is an explanatory style, not a genetically determined condition. The field of positive psychology is bursting with evidence indicating that more optimistic mindsets are formed when you see negative experiences as temporary, specific to a situation, and not indicative of some fatal flaw of yours. Did your new product fail the safety test? You can make the necessary adjustments and pass next time. Were you passed over for promotion? Next year you will have more experience and a chance to cultivate additional committed sponsors. Check out the book Learned Optimism by Martin E. P. Seligman. It’s a classic.

Images   Practice active-constructive responding. When your colleagues share good news, listen in a way that encourages them to savor the positive emotion. Rather than responding, “That’s nice” when a coworker tells you about their latest success, say, “Tell me more. How did you accomplish that?” It’s an infectious injection of possibility. As an active-constructive responder, you share in the emotional high, and your coworker with the good news develops an even greater opinion of you.

Images   Break big goals into manageable, tangible actions that can be accomplished and celebrated. Opening a restaurant is a huge goal. What are the steps? Did you find a location? Sign your lease? Hire your first employee? Be sure to “show off” your incremental successes with friends and coworkers. Invite them to a drink in your soon-to-be operational venue.

Images   WOOP: Wish. Outcome. Obstacle. Plan. Think of a wish. Imagine for a few minutes it comes true. Shift gears. Imagine the obstacles that stand in the way of realizing your wish. This helps you decide and plan for which goals to pursue and which can be discarded as unrealistic (for the time being).

Images   Reimagine your goals. Don’t get stuck in the problem at hand. What can be fixed? With how much effort? Do you need to pivot? Share the shift with your colleagues. “We have not been able to succeed at X, so we are now going after Y.” It’s demoralizing for your team to fail. Not knowing the change in direction will alienate them further.

Images   Be honest. Openly review obstacles you anticipate, and ask others to make suggestions. Pretending everything will work out won’t lead you to success, and will likely undermine your reputation. It’s OK not to know the answers. Ask for help.

Images   Offer a tour of duty. In The Alliance, cofounder of LinkedIn, Reid Hoffman, explains the concept: “[They] focus on honorably accomplishing a specific, finite mission.” Employees go to different company departments and contribute their talents to the success of a specific measurable goal. They deepen their understanding of the business while showcasing their skills and strengths.

Images   Envision the future. Bring together the dreamers, the analysts, the self-proclaimed pessimists, and those in between. Ask, “What if?” Don’t give in to the urge to find a solution or shut down wacky ideas. Air all perspectives, capture the quotes, and post them where they can be seen. Let conversation unfold naturally in the hallways. Reconvene the group in a few weeks and see if the chance to live with what may have seemed to be polar opposite realities has prompted new thinking.

Images   Examine time from a nonlinear perspective. Professional futurist Bill Sharpe created a technique called Three Horizons to help individuals and organizations build shared hope and commitment as they navigate from the familiar to the new. The core idea is that time is not one-dimensional. For example, the university administrator is making sure professors have the traditional resources they need in their classrooms. They keep business running as usual (inhabiting horizon one). The professors work for the same entity as the engineer who is developing a chip that will implant knowledge in your brain (that’s the third horizon). In this mix is horizon two, the pockets of the future that already exist today (university buildings remain standing, but many students are attending virtual classes instead). By default, many people inhabit just one horizon in their work, and view other horizons with misunderstanding or hostility. When people appreciate the positive contribution of each horizon, they can release the grip on “their” horizon and travel together on a more flexible and empathetic path to the future.

KEEP IN MIND

•   Overly optimistic colleagues can be annoying if they lack information or choose to ignore important data. Don’t make fun of them. Instead, share what you know and why it impacts decision-making.

•   You can’t force another person to be optimistic, but you can be a positive role model.

CASE STUDIES

We Are Hospitalarians

Leo ran the in-house events team for a very successful businesswoman and the philanthropies she supported. Well paid and highly respected, he craved independence. He wanted to start his own company, possibly open an events space of his own or maybe launch a new restaurant. Recently married and trying hard to adopt a child with his husband, many of Leo’s friends urged him not to leave a sure thing. He thanked them for their concern and proceeded with his plan. Several past clients offered to invest. He declined. A friend offered him a desk at her office. He accepted.

Not knowing which of his ideas would take hold, Leo opted to leverage his core competency: corporate event planning. He set realistic revenue targets and hired two part-time employees. Leo also created a personal board of directors composed of friends who had been successful entrepreneurs, a former client, and a well-known decorator. He hired young freelancers who worked at a discount in exchange for gaining experience. He got certified by the LGBT chamber of commerce. He hired graduates of a job-training program for people living with HIV/AIDS to oversee the pickup and delivery of decorative materials. Leo committed to a year of monthly coaching appointments. Five years later, Leo has built a multimillion-dollar business and employs nine people full-time. He’s the proud father of a four-year-old son.

Leo had a vision and surrounded himself with people who could support and challenge him. He remained optimistic about his success, but he refrained from being overconfident or from taking too big a risk.

Winning Isn’t the Only Form of Success

In an open letter to her children, Halla Tomasdottir wrote, “In a complex world, where many things are broken, it may seem easier to stand on the sidelines. I ask you not to do that. It is too crowded there already. Step onto the field and actively participate in creating the community you dream of.” Halla has modeled resilience throughout her career, which included working in consumer goods, being on the founding team of Reykjavík University, and co-founding Auður Capital, an investment firm that incorporates feminine values into finance (the only Icelandic investment firm to survive the financial meltdown in 2008). Through the years, Halla and I have had a chance to talk about strategies for accomplishing the seemingly impossible. She’s never short of ideas. Halla is now CEO of The B Team, a global nonprofit dedicated to catalyzing a better way of doing business. But that’s not all. She ran for president of Iceland in 2016.

Halla had no prior political experience and was reluctant to subject herself and her family to the scrutiny and loss of freedom associated with a high political position. She did it anyway. Running for president was a platform to promote her vision and values for the nation. More than 20 candidates entered the race, but by Election Day, the race was among 4 candidates, 3 men and Halla. It wasn’t easy. Halla explains, “When I finally got access to mainstream media, I was repeatedly asked if I was going to quit. During the TV debates I typically got less airtime, and more than once moderators forgot to ask me a question asked of all the other candidates. I was the only candidate of the final four that never got a front-page interview.”

Despite that, Halla won nearly 30 percent of the national vote, outperforming the polls to finish second by an unprecedented and surprising margin. “Even if I did not win this election, I can truly say the journey was successful.” Halla received a photo of preschool girls kissing her picture as it was displayed on a bus stop. “That picture alone was really enough of a win for me. What we see, we can be. So screw fear and challenges. It matters that women run for office, be it the CEO office or the office of the President.”

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