When there’s an elephant in the room, introduce him.
—RANDOLPH PAUSCH
As a consultant, I often go on safari. No jeeps or rangers needed. I’m not on a game reserve. I’m in your office, looking for a supersized mammal. “An elephant in the room” is the issue with no name. It’s a term used to describe a situation, question, problem, or controversial issue that most, or all, of the people involved know about but don’t discuss for fear of the potential consequences. They prefer to ignore it, hoping it will vanish. When the elephant’s presence is felt but everyone is denying its existence, there’s no way to resolve it. So, you learn to live with it, often with deleterious consequences.
There are plenty of high-profile, dramatic examples of the elephant in the room derailing careers and companies—Enron, the Space Shuttle disasters, Lance Armstrong, and Bernie Madoff, among others. Something didn’t add up, and subsequent investigations showed that those who initially questioned what was happening (i.e., had seen the elephant in the room) were ignored.
Elephants stomp on quality dialogue; they inhibit effective decision-making. It takes courage and strong leadership to name objectionable behaviors and make sure that the tough (unspoken) issues (the elephant in the room) are surfaced and dealt with. While we can’t prevent elephants from entering the corporate space, the goal is to foster a culture and create the mechanisms that quickly show the big-eared animal the door.
If this large organizational threat is hiding in plain sight, how do you know it’s there? Conversations are happening in the wrong places. You call a meeting to resolve a significant matter and are met with silence. You’ve invited input, but nobody volunteers a useful response. Your colleagues aren’t really quiet; they’re just talking in unofficial gatherings that feel safer. Gossip going on in the corners? Look for the elephant. Then transform the covert conversations happening in the hall into safe, overt/explicit discussions between the relevant parties.
• Unaddressed issues are stunting the team’s full potential.
• Change is afoot, but information is lacking. Gossip is on the rise.
• You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something is wrong.
• Conversations are going in circles. People nod their heads in meetings, yet fail to act.
Be brave. Ask, “Why aren’t we discussing X?” Ideally, your inquiry will prompt a more open discussion. Alternatively, putting the issue into words might stimulate an investigation outside of the immediate setting, with (ideally) a report at a later date.
Gain as much knowledge as you can about the elephant. Don’t make assumptions. If you are the manager, make it safe for your colleagues to share their impressions. Interview people individually and confidentially. Consider bringing in an outside consultant to have the conversations and present the findings back in a nonemotional way that doesn’t embarrass anyone.
Prepare for the unleashing of strong emotion. If the elephant wasn’t such an evocative topic, it wouldn’t be hiding. Some people may be hurt as the discussion unfolds. Encourage everyone to learn and support, rather than jump to judgments. The elephant didn’t come out of nowhere. Inquire, “What do we think may really be going on?”
If you’re addressing an issue that’s been simmering for a while, think about the best moment to tackle the situation. Look for a time when those involved are likely to be less frazzled, when distraction will be at a minimum, and no one outside the situation is likely to be around.
Be careful that the elephant isn’t you! Don’t assume you can continually sneak out of work even if it’s for necessary medical care or other good causes. Asking coworkers to pretend you haven’t gone missing creates undue stress on everyone. Remember: you are not invisible.
Make it about the issue, not the person. Issues don’t have emotions, but people do. Many times, undiscussable topics are tied to individuals who are sitting right there when the delicate conversation begins. The goal is not to embarrass or humiliate.
Once the issue is aired, agree on how to communicate the findings more broadly (if appropriate) and be sure to include a statement of next steps. Identifying a plan of action restores trust and can be a source of pride for the individuals who helped craft the solution.
• If your boss is the one with the big ears and tusks, you may want to seek guidance from your HR department before confronting the issue.
• If you find yourself around the watercooler with colleagues, delighting in scandalous office drama, do a fact-check. The big secret may be a big nothing.
18.188.152.162