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NAME THE ELEPHANT

It’s Taking Up Way Too Much Room

When there’s an elephant in the room, introduce him.

—RANDOLPH PAUSCH

As a consultant, I often go on safari. No jeeps or rangers needed. I’m not on a game reserve. I’m in your office, looking for a supersized mammal. “An elephant in the room” is the issue with no name. It’s a term used to describe a situation, question, problem, or controversial issue that most, or all, of the people involved know about but don’t discuss for fear of the potential consequences. They prefer to ignore it, hoping it will vanish. When the elephant’s presence is felt but everyone is denying its existence, there’s no way to resolve it. So, you learn to live with it, often with deleterious consequences.

There are plenty of high-profile, dramatic examples of the elephant in the room derailing careers and companies—Enron, the Space Shuttle disasters, Lance Armstrong, and Bernie Madoff, among others. Something didn’t add up, and subsequent investigations showed that those who initially questioned what was happening (i.e., had seen the elephant in the room) were ignored.

Elephants stomp on quality dialogue; they inhibit effective decision-making. It takes courage and strong leadership to name objectionable behaviors and make sure that the tough (unspoken) issues (the elephant in the room) are surfaced and dealt with. While we can’t prevent elephants from entering the corporate space, the goal is to foster a culture and create the mechanisms that quickly show the big-eared animal the door.

If this large organizational threat is hiding in plain sight, how do you know it’s there? Conversations are happening in the wrong places. You call a meeting to resolve a significant matter and are met with silence. You’ve invited input, but nobody volunteers a useful response. Your colleagues aren’t really quiet; they’re just talking in unofficial gatherings that feel safer. Gossip going on in the corners? Look for the elephant. Then transform the covert conversations happening in the hall into safe, overt/explicit discussions between the relevant parties.

THIS IS FOR YOU IF

•   Unaddressed issues are stunting the team’s full potential.

•   Change is afoot, but information is lacking. Gossip is on the rise.

•   You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something is wrong.

•   Conversations are going in circles. People nod their heads in meetings, yet fail to act.

TAKE ACTION

Images   Be brave. Ask, “Why aren’t we discussing X?” Ideally, your inquiry will prompt a more open discussion. Alternatively, putting the issue into words might stimulate an investigation outside of the immediate setting, with (ideally) a report at a later date.

Images   Gain as much knowledge as you can about the elephant. Don’t make assumptions. If you are the manager, make it safe for your colleagues to share their impressions. Interview people individually and confidentially. Consider bringing in an outside consultant to have the conversations and present the findings back in a nonemotional way that doesn’t embarrass anyone.

Images   Prepare for the unleashing of strong emotion. If the elephant wasn’t such an evocative topic, it wouldn’t be hiding. Some people may be hurt as the discussion unfolds. Encourage everyone to learn and support, rather than jump to judgments. The elephant didn’t come out of nowhere. Inquire, “What do we think may really be going on?”

Images   If you’re addressing an issue that’s been simmering for a while, think about the best moment to tackle the situation. Look for a time when those involved are likely to be less frazzled, when distraction will be at a minimum, and no one outside the situation is likely to be around.

Images   Be careful that the elephant isn’t you! Don’t assume you can continually sneak out of work even if it’s for necessary medical care or other good causes. Asking coworkers to pretend you haven’t gone missing creates undue stress on everyone. Remember: you are not invisible.

Images   Make it about the issue, not the person. Issues don’t have emotions, but people do. Many times, undiscussable topics are tied to individuals who are sitting right there when the delicate conversation begins. The goal is not to embarrass or humiliate.

Images   Once the issue is aired, agree on how to communicate the findings more broadly (if appropriate) and be sure to include a statement of next steps. Identifying a plan of action restores trust and can be a source of pride for the individuals who helped craft the solution.

KEEP IN MIND

•   If your boss is the one with the big ears and tusks, you may want to seek guidance from your HR department before confronting the issue.

•   If you find yourself around the watercooler with colleagues, delighting in scandalous office drama, do a fact-check. The big secret may be a big nothing.

CASE STUDIES

Know When You Are the Elephant

I interviewed 15 executives of a professional services firm in advance of their management offsite. The only thing they all agreed on was that trust among them was at an all-time low. Some were calling for a change in leadership, going so far as to nominate themselves. The sitting CEO was a charismatic, high-energy leader who was pushing the group to pursue new strategic alliances with boutique providers. He set ambitious financial targets. He also invested his personal money in the firm’s clients’ businesses. Several members of the leadership team questioned whether this was a conflict of interest.

Several actually said, “There is an elephant in the room.” This was particularly amusing to me because (1) I was in the middle of writing this chapter and (2) English wasn’t their first language (suggesting the great universality of this concept). I asked them to name the elephant. They all said the CEO’s name, but didn’t agree on what exactly the problem was. So . . . I decided to introduce the elephant at the start of their meeting. I shared my interview data, noted the distress, and then passed the microphone to the CEO who addressed each of their concerns. A slide featuring an elephant was on the screen behind him as he opened the floor to questions. We kept on talking until everyone had aired their grievances and agreed on a shared agenda for the weekend. The elephant was shown the door, but the CEO stayed—and received renewed public support for his leadership.

Think Inside the Box

Kicking the elephant out is more challenging when the hot gossip requiring cold hard discussion is about your boss. Twenty-five technologists were gathered for an offsite at which their team leader critiqued them for not thinking strategically. The company’s infrastructure was at risk of becoming outmoded. Work groups were formed to review project management, skill improvement, and so on, and yet the mood was lackluster.

I decided to ask the team to submit questions anonymously and then read the queries out loud to the room, which included senior managers. The elephant jumped out of the box. The messages were consistent. The team leader and his boss were eager to please their internal clients and seldom said no to a request. As a result, the tech team was constantly responding to immediate demands with little time to be strategic. In addition, the senior leaders were inconsistent in their stated priorities. The company had recently downsized, and rumors of further reductions were rampant. The team didn’t dare raise these concerns directly with their bosses for fear their heads would roll.

While direct conversation is a preferred method of communication, sometimes protecting the source allows for the discussion to begin. Once the elephant was named the meeting took on a new life. The focus shifted to establishing processes for setting and communicating clear priorities and strategies for saying no (or not now) to unscheduled demands.

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