TIP 2
PLUG THE ENERGY DRAINS
Cocaine habit forming? Of course not. I ought to know. I’ve been using it for years.
Once you start eliminating what you are putting up with (Tip 1), you will see just how much energy those petty annoyances were taking from you. Just like the hum of an air conditioner: you don’t realize how loud it really is until you turn it off. Lots of things drain our precious energy. Take TV, for example. When was the last time you felt zippy and alive after watching TV? Tabloid papers have a lot of negative and gossipy news that can drain your energy. Needy relationships will take up inordinate amounts of your time and energy. As will any and all addictions, including alcohol, sugar, shopping, computer games, caffeine, gambling, smoking, chocolate—you know which ones are yours. I’m not saying you can’t have a cup of coffee once in a while, but more than three cups a week, and it may be an addiction.
I didn’t think I was addicted to coffee. I didn’t even like it that much and only had one cup every morning. When I decided to give it up, I thought it would be easy. After three days of skull-splitting, mind-numbing headaches (and I don’t usually get headaches), I realized this was a powerful drug, not just a nice cup of coffee. Try it yourself and see. (Plus, if you are interested in losing weight, studies show that caffeine causes insulin production to go up, which increases fat storage.) Now that I’ve given up caffeine, my energy is more even and balanced throughout the day, and I don’t buzz around in the morning thinking that I’ve accomplished a lot when I actually haven’t. Feeling stressed, under the gun? Definitely not the time for coffee. It will make things worse, exacerbating the stress you already feel. One client, formerly a coffee aficionado, swears by this technique coming off the caffeine habit: cut coffee out, but drink as much black or green tea as you want for one month and then switch to herbal tea. He finds he now has more energy and feels much more relaxed.
Another client, a senior editor at a publishing house, was addicted to sugar and found herself heading toward the vending machine a couple of times a day. She decided to quit cold turkey. Any time she felt inclined to head to the vending machines for a candy bar and a coke, she just told herself, “Sugar isn’t going to help. In fact, it will just make things worse.” This mantra worked for her. Sugar was a way for her to get a quick energy burst, and it was also a way to put off work on a difficult project. Instead she focused on the task at hand or addressed the project head-on. Not only did she lose weight, but she discovered that she was even more productive at work.
What are the seductive energy drains in your life? Don’t be shy about getting support. There are all sorts of excellent 12-step programs that help people get over their addictions—CODA for codependency issues, AA for alcohol, AlAnon for family members of alcoholics, OA for overeaters. There is something for everyone. Get the support you need to eliminate this energy drain once and for all. If you think you can manage your addictions on your own, make a list and eliminate one each month until you are free.
Addictions take over your life and are extremely difficult to stop on your own. If you try doing it on your own and fail, do not despair. This does not mean that you have no willpower or are a weak and terrible person. Stop beating yourself up about it. All it means is that you really are addicted and the only thing missing is a really powerful support system to help you break free.