For the first few weeks, months or even years of a new relationship, things can be effortlessly wonderful. But sooner or later real life kicks in and the relationship is tested. From here on, although a relationship still has the potential to keep getting better, it does require some effort to make it happen. You need to work at it. Or at the very least, make sure you don’t let it suffer from some kind of benign neglect. Many relationships where the shine has worn thin have gone that way by accident. But the good news is you can put it right, by building on what you’ve got. This section is all about making the most of the relationship you have, making it strong and deep and happy for both of you.

What follows are the top Rules I’ve learnt from watching people with great relationships, and from my own. I know from experience that some are easier than others to follow, but if you stick at them the rewards are huge. If you’ve managed to fall in love with someone who is capable of making you happy (see Rules 1–20), you have laid the groundwork for a life of happiness and love. All you need to do now is make sure it doesn’t come off the rails. These Rules will keep you on track.

I’m assuming for the purposes of this set of Rules that while your partner isn’t perfect (who is?), they aren’t a total waste of space either. If you’ve fallen in love with someone who doesn’t care about you and never will, these Rules won’t make you happy even if they can keep the relationship together. I don’t want you to have that kind of life, so to use these Rules effectively you have to start out with someone who wants you to be happy, and is prepared at least to meet you halfway in making that happen. If you’re both approaching the thing with the same attitude, you’re well on your way to a long and happy life.