- Cover
- Title page
- Contents
- Dedication
- Introduction
- Rules for staying sane
- 1 Relax
- 2 No one is perfect
- 3 Be content
- 4 Know what you’re good at
- 5 Almost any rule can be broken occasionally
- 6 Don’t try to do everything
- 7 You don’t have to follow every piece of advice you get (including this one)
- 8 It’s normal to want to escape
- 9 You’re allowed to hide from your kids
- 10 Parents are people too
- 11 Don’t ignore your relationship with your partner
- Attitude Rules
- 12 Love is not enough
- 13 Every recipe needs different ingredients
- 14 Anything extreme is almost certainly wrong
- 15 Look pleased to see them
- 16 Treat your child with respect
- 17 Enjoy their company
- 18 It’s not about you – it’s about them
- 19 Being tidy isn’t as important as you think
- 20 Good parenting is calculated risk taking
- 21 Keep your worries to yourself
- 22 See things from their point of view
- 23 Parenting is not a competitive sport
- 24 Never emotionally blackmail them
- Everyday Rules
- 25 Let them get on with it
- 26 Let them go (wild)
- 27 Teach them to think for themselves
- 28 Use praise wisely
- 29 Make sure they know what’s important
- 30 Show them how to lose
- 31 Know the value of boundaries
- 32 Bribery doesn’t have to be bad
- 33 Moods are catching
- 34 You’re setting their eating patterns for life
- 35 Communicate
- 36 Set clear targets
- 37 Don’t be a nag
- Discipline Rules
- Personality Rules
- 48 Find what incentives work for your child
- 49 Every child should have something they know they’re good at
- 50 Learn to appreciate the qualities that remind you of someone else
- 51 Look for the similarities between you
- 52 Find qualities to admire in them
- 53 Let them be better than you
- 54 Their attitude is as important as their achievements
- 55 Keep your fears and insecurities to yourself
- 56 Mind your programming
- 57 Don’t try to have a perfect child
- Sibling Rules
- 58 Give them each other
- 59 Recognize that squabbling is healthy (within reason)
- 60 Teach them to sort out their own arguments
- 61 Work as a team
- 62 Let them entertain each other
- 63 Never compare children with each other
- 64 Different children need different rules
- 65 Don’t have a favourite
- 66 Mix and match
- 67 Find each child’s strengths
- School Rules
- 68 Schooling isn’t the same as education
- 69 School comes as a package
- 70 Fight your child’s corner
- 71 Bullying is always serious
- 72 Teach them to stand up for themselves
- 73 Put up with friends of theirs you don’t like
- 74 Remember you’re their parent, not their teacher
- 75 Don’t mollycoddle them
- 76 Let up the pressure
- 77 They have to live with their choices (and it’s OK)
- Teenage Rules
- 78 Don’t panic
- 79 Remember Newton’s Third Law
- 80 Give them a voice
- 81 Don’t look under the mattress
- 82 Running round after them doesn’t help anybody
- 83 Don’t stand in front of a speeding train
- 84 Yelling isn’t the answer
- 85 Let them have the last word
- 86 Everything comes with strings
- 87 Show some respect for the things they care about
- 88 Adopt a healthy attitude to sex
- Crisis Rules
- 89 Don’t use your kids as ammunition
- 90 Let them cope in their own way
- 91 Being younger doesn’t necessarily speed everything up
- 92 The aftershock can last forever
- 93 Tell them what’s going on
- 94 Teach them to fail successfully
- 95 It’s better to agree than to be right
- 96 All of your actions speak louder than any of your words
- 97 Make sure they know they’re priority no. 1
- 98 You can’t fix everything
- Grown-up Rules
- 99 Back off
- 100 Wait until they ask for advice
- 101 Treat them as adults
- 102 Don’t try to be their best friend
- 103 Encourage them regardless
- 104 You can’t choose who your children love
- 105 Leave the strings off
- 106 Don’t guilt-trip them
- 107 Remember they still need you
- 108 It’s not your fault
- 109 Once a parent, always a parent
- Rules about your parents
- 1 Don’t put them on a pedestal
- 2 Let them be grandparents
- 3 Don’t ask too much of them
- 4 Don’t guilt-trip them – even by mistake
- 5 Learn to share
- 6 They’re new to this too
- 7 Understand that they don’t come from the same place as you
- 8 Any grandparent is better than no grandparent
- 9 Don’t bad-mouth them in front of the kids
- 10 They love you just like you love your kids
- Had enough yet …?
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- Imprint
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