Managing stress is not about removing all the stress from your life, it’s about how you deal with the stress that’s an inevitable part of your life that’s important. Brilliant people don’t have stress-free lives, they are simply able to handle it in a healthy way.

Dealing with stress

What does ‘poorly controlled’ stress do to you? If you don’t deal with it well, you’re more open to:

• fatigue and low energy
• overeating and difficulty with weight loss
• grogginess in the morning
• lack of sex drive
• reliance on caffeine, sugar or drugs
• difficulty in sleeping
• poor concentration and memory
• recurrent infections due to a lowered immune system
• depression
• the onset of Alzheimer’s disease
• sore and stiff muscles and joints
• degeneration of your physical system
• cancer, heart disease, strokes, diabetes, etc.

So it’s a must that you deal with stress and do so brilliantly.

Here are some ideas to help you deal with the stress in your life.

Laugh

It has been proved time and time again that laughter stimulates the immune system, stimulates breathing, which oxygenates the body and uses nearly every muscle of your body – which in turn keeps you looking great.

Laughter by its very nature invites us to look at things in a different light. Look for the funny side of (almost) every situation – and don’t be afraid to have a really good laugh out loud.

Be optimistic

A study compiled by the Mayo Clinic over a 30-year period shows that subjects who were categorised as pessimistic had a 19% greater chance of dying early than those described as being optimists.

Now that’s something to be optimistic about.

Have fun

Having fun reduces stress, which reduces the amount of adrenalin the body produces.

Relax

Listen to a relaxation CD, quieten your mind and learn how to meditate. By practising deep relaxation for 15 minutes three to four times a week, you will significantly reduce your levels of stress. I recommend ‘White Island’ relaxation available as a CD or download from www.michaelheppell.com as an easy way to get started.

Love and be loved

A study at the University of Miami on premature babies found that babies who were stroked regularly gained weight 49% faster than those babies of the same birth weight who were not stroked.

In fact babies who are not touched and cuddled, even if they are cared for physically, are at a greater risk of death. Doctors call it ‘failure to thrive’.

Manage anger

People with hostile personalities have up to five times the death rate before the age of 50 than people who are less prone to these negative emotions.

In a study carried out at the University of North Carolina, 13,000 participants were asked a series of questions about their levels of anger, i.e. whether they were hot headed, whether they felt as though they wanted to hit someone when angry, etc.

Of those questioned, 8% were at the high end of the spectrum. In the six-year follow-up period, it was found they were three times more likely to have died suddenly than those ranked lowest.

Get support

Having someone to talk to is a very powerful medicine. Get it off your chest. Have a whinge about your job, the kids, life and then let it go. A good supportive friend or spouse will hear you out and then support you when you move on.

Studies show that married men live on average four years longer than single men. Companionship and shared interests add mental stimulation, which boosts your immune system.

Body image

A poor body image can affect how you think and feel about yourself. A poor body image can lead to emotional distress, low self-esteem, dangerous dieting, anxiety, depression and eating disorders.

With a positive body image, a person has a real perception of their size and shape and feels comfortable and proud about their body. With a negative body image, a person has a distorted perception of their shape and size, compares their body with others and feels shame, awkwardness and anxiety about their body.

Learn to love what you see in the mirror

When you look in the mirror, what do you focus on? Do you like what you see? We are all (men and women, young and old) under pressure to measure up to a certain social and cultural ideal of beauty, which can easily lead to a poor body self-image. By cleverly presenting an ideal shape that is difficult to achieve and maintain, the cosmetic and diet product industries are assured of success. Because once you start looking for perfection, you just can’t stop.

So let’s start with what you’ve got.

Celebrate and nourish your body

We all want to look our best, but a healthy body is not always linked to appearance. In fact, healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes!

Developing and nurturing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude is crucial to your happiness and wellness. There is a common misconception that you have to be very thin to be healthy. This can then cause people to do all sorts of unhealthy things to become very thin – eating an inadequate diet, smoking, pills, etc.

Your body is amazing. Start right away by treating it well. Get a massage, sign up for a treatment, nourish your skin, look after your nails, floss your teeth, dry body brush, have a facial, exfoliate, clean your tongue, have a colonic irrigation, relax in an Epsom Salts bath, massage your feet and condition your hair. Then, in the afternoon . . .

Love you, love your body

It’s easier to feel more comfortable and do the right things for your ‘new’ body when you find things to like about the one you have now.

Essentials to developing healthy body image are the same as for overall wellness:

• Eating healthily – promotes healthy skin and hair and strong bones.
• Regular exercise – increases self-esteem, self-image and energy.
• Plenty of rest – the key to stress management and masses of energy.

Some thoughts on dieting

Dieting does not work! If it did, it would not be one of the fastest-growing industries in the world (think about that one). Dieters spend billions on weight-loss programmes that have little long-term effect on their weight.

Did you know that, even if you remain on a diet programme, it is likely that you will regain one- to two-thirds of your lost weight within one year? And nearly all of your lost weight within five years?

Women in particular who diet frequently are more likely to:

• binge eat
• purge food (vomit)
• have poor health
• become depressed.

Remember – women are meant to have curves (but men aren’t meant to have breasts!).

Body image in children

Adopting a healthy lifestyle is the best way to manage your weight and model healthy behaviours for your children. Use the following to encourage positive beliefs about body image at home:

• Avoid calling foods ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – try ‘everyday’ foods and ‘sometimes’ foods.
• Model eating all foods. For example, when eating ‘sometimes’ foods, such as chocolate or sweets, show your child that it is OK to eat them slowly and enjoy them without feeling guilty. This is much better than eating them quickly, secretively or all at once.
• Avoid using food as a punishment or overusing it as a reward.
• Don’t tell your child to lose weight – encourage the whole family to adopt healthy eating patterns and regular physical activity.
• Tell your children that you love them unconditionally – and tell them that a lot.
• Avoid using extreme weight-loss practices yourself.
• Make time to eat as a family frequently and make meal times enjoyable and stress free. Don’t make eating habits a big issue.
• Make sure there are plenty of nutritious foods in the house and limit access to less nutritious foods.
• Encourage your children to listen to signals from their body – when they’re hungry and when they’ve had enough.
• You may wish to serve food in the centre of the table so each person can serve their own size portions according to their appetite.
• Don’t make your children eat everything on their plate (a throw back to rationing), but do encourage them to at least taste some of the food.
• Raise children so they associate ‘treat’ with special kinds of fruit, or something else nutritious, instead of sweets.

If you need support, seek professional advice from someone who specialises in childhood weight issues.

Sleep and meditation

Which best describes you?

‘Not getting enough sleep is a surefire way to make me feel lousy. It’s not that I need much, 14–15 hours a night and a couple of naps during the day is all I ask, but I’m just not getting my quota.’

Or:

‘I’m so lucky: four or five hours a night and I’ve got all the energy I need! Sleep? I can take it or leave it!’

My guess is you’re closer to the first than the second and that’s why you’re reading this section.

Tips to help you sleep

If you get broken sleep or you find it hard to ‘drop off’ in the first place then here are a few tips to help you:

• Aim to get to bed on the right side of 11.00 (that’s pm!). This is much more restorative to your adrenal glands than sleep that begins later at night (even if you sleep late the next morning).
• Prioritise sleep. You will achieve much more with your day if you have had a good six to eight hours’ sleep.
• It is important to feel physically tired before going to bed – this is where exercise is vital.
• Avoid caffeine or large amounts of fluid for a few hours before going to bed – uninterrupted sleep is ideal.
• If you can’t get six to eight hours, at least make sure the time you spend in the bedroom is productive and relaxing, i.e. don’t watch television or do work.
• A relaxing salt bath is a wonderful way to help your body to relax before you go to bed. The salts continue to work overnight too.

Did you know 85% of all healing occurs when you are in deep sleep?

Meditation

Meditation or other methods of deep relaxation can improve your health dramatically. Relaxation of all kinds decreases cortisol and epinephrine levels in the blood and helps to balance your biochemistry. In simple terms that means it lowers blood pressure and prevents depression.

In most Western cultures we aren’t taught how to meditate properly, if at all. Instead we are told to stop daydreaming and to pay attention.