OPEN TO CHANGE
If you were a sailor, you wouldn’t complain if the wind changed direction, you would just reset your sails. So why is there so much fuss when we need to change? Some people really love change; my friend Llew Avis says: ‘Every three years you should change your job, your home or your wife.’ But the reality is that most of us fear it.
I live in Northumberland, right on Hadrian’s Wall. I often marvel at the amazing technology the Romans brought when their empire came north. I also find it staggering that after they left we managed to go so far backwards before taking hundreds of years to catch up. You can imagine the scene after the last Roman left, with the locals saying: ‘Thank goodness they’ve gone, now we can rip up those roads, destroy those ghastly sewers and get things back to how they used to be.’
We don’t like change – even good change – if it is forced on us.
Learn to deal with it
When we are faced with change we often perceive it as a ‘threat’ and as such react with a ‘fight or flight’ response. In simple terms, we get very annoyed and either want to attack or run away. You can reprogramme your brain during these situations by learning how to use effective reasoning. One of the best ways to do this is through learning effective reasoning questions.
Imagine you are faced with a major change situation in your life; by asking these five questions you will definitely be equipped to deal with the change far more effectively:
- Why has this change taken place?
- What are the possible long-term positive benefits of this change?
- What are the possible short-term benefits?
- What can I do now to cope better with this change?
- What can I do to benefit from this change?
You can’t stop change, but you can adapt to it and even influence it
In the world of personal development, you can read many books and listen to many speakers saying how important it is to embrace change. This is all well and good when the change concerns the parts of your life that you want to change, but often this is not the case.
Some people deal with change better than others. This is often demonstrated by those who are either in, or would like to be in, the public eye. Just take a look at some newspaper headlines and spot a bit of ‘positive spin’:
Headline
Football star signs to new club and says he can’t wait to play for such an amazing team
Reality
Footballer sold by old team because he’s lost his form and he really wants the new club’s fans to give him a chance
Headline
Local business lands £1 million contract
Reality
We’re somewhat stunned to have pulled this one off, and actually in a bit of a panic as to how we’re going to resource it!
Headline
TV star takes a year out to write movie script
Reality
No one wants to hire me so I’d better be seen to be doing something
What headline could you write to put a positive spin on the changes that are being thrust on you?
Headline
Tom makes dramatic new career move
Reality
Tom’s been made redundant as his local office closes down
Headline
Sue reinvents herself with bold new image
Reality
Sue’s boyfriend has dumped her and she could feel a whole lot better
If change is inevitable, why not be the person who is influencing the changes? It’s a big step, but anyone can do it. From the smallest first steps to a major new direction, why not lead the way?
BRILL BIT
When faced with change play ‘remember when’. Think about how things are now (particularly things that you accept), which, when they were first introduced, seemed to create major traumatic change.