When I was a youth worker I spent a week working with an amazing friend of mine, Rev. Barrie Lees, in his parish of Falmouth. It was going to be a week working in schools, with the youth club and for the local Boys’ Brigade. I’d just started my career and enthusiastically thought young people were the answer to everything!

When Barrie suggested we visit an old folks’ home my non-verbal response must have spoken volumes; he looked me in the eye and said: ‘Old people are important too.’ He was, as always, right and surprisingly enough I plan on being an old person one day too!

I know they drive you nuts, frustrate the life out of you, do things at a third of the speed and think your taste in music is terrible, but how well do you know them?

Here’s a little test for you to see how much you know about your grandparents:

• When are their birthdays?
• How old are they?
• What concerns them?
• What was their first job?
• What makes them laugh?

Five out of five? Well done! Anything less and you have a few conversation starters for the next time you see them.

How to build the relationship

How do you build a relationship with someone who’ll be at least two generations apart from you?

Well, if you have read the other chapters in this section then you’ll have probably picked up on a few common themes about staying in touch, showing interest and being proactive. They are all very important, but here’s a magic tool you can use with older people and they love it. It’s called ‘the family reunion’.

My cousin Helen decided to have one of these a couple of years ago for no reason other than she didn’t want to see her aunts, uncles, cousins and extended family only at weddings and funerals.

Are you up for it? Now here’s the trick: once they’ve been invited, give everyone who is coming a responsibility. There’s something quite special about having a ‘do’, inviting everyone and giving them a job. Also, remember to make your grandparents the guests of honour. Finally, ask people to bring loads of old photos or videos and to create three questions for a family quiz.

It does take a bit of effort and if asked they would probably say they aren’t worth the fuss. Grandparents often feel left out; the world is changing rapidly around them and one of the only constants is their family, so make it brilliant.