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OLD FRIENDS

Lea McConnell is one of my oldest friends; he’s been in my life forever. I think we went to the same nursery and I’m certain we went to the same infant and junior schools. I know that because, when he wasn’t at my house for tea, I was at his. We went through school together and then at 16 we went our separate ways. We saw each other now and then. Unfortunately, the ‘now and then’ has stretched to every five years or more. How did that happen?

What about all those people I’ve worked with over the years that I said ‘let’s stay in touch’ to – but never did. Then there are the people you meet on courses, your neighbours, pub pals, holiday friendships and family friends. As I’m writing this, I’ve realised how rubbish I am at staying in touch with old friends. So, if you are an old friend of mine, make it easy for me and get in touch!

How to stay in touch

The fact is, it’s easy to keep in touch with old friends. It requires little effort and is a great way of keeping connected to important parts of our past. Here are some tips for me (and you!) to take action and contact our old friends:

  • Register for some online networking; from Facebook to LinkedIn there are plenty of ways to find people.
  • Once you find them, CONTACT THEM. It’s lovely to see old friends on screen but what’s the point unless you are going to get in touch?
  • Go through old address books and call one person a week.
  • Take your old address books on holiday and send lots of postcards.
  • Go to reunions if you are invited. Or at least contact the people you’d like to see most and see if they are going.

What to say after all those years

So, what do you say to an old friend? When Louise (a friend we made on holiday 10 years earlier) called us last summer she simply said: ‘Hi, it’s Louise, I’ve been meaning to give you a call for months.’ We talked for ages about kids, life and everything. It was lovely.

Here are a couple of other ‘openers’:

  • ‘Hi, it’s __________ do you remember me? You’ve popped into my head a few times recently so I thought I’d give you a call.’
  • ‘Hi, it’s __________ I’m reading a fantastic book called How to Have a Brilliant Life and in it the author challenges you to contact an old friend. I thought of you, so here I am!’

BRILL BIT

It can be the case that the people who were with you when you went from ‘a to b’ are not necessarily the right people to be with you from ‘b to c’. That’s OK; feeling guilty because you haven’t been in touch with a person who isn’t right for you now is nothing to be concerned about – in fact, not staying in touch could be the best decision you’ve made.

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