Who are you and what are you here to do? Do you know? Have you ever asked yourself? If so, what have you discovered?

A tortoise and a hare were having a pint one day when the tortoise (who appeared to have had one too many) challenged the hare to a game of darts. The whole forest came out to watch and, as it happens, the hare thrashed the tortoise. Because, as we all know, tortoises can’t play darts.

Hands up who after the first few words thought the last paragraph was going to be the traditional story of the tortoise and the hare? Even when I got into it, I bet you still thought the tortoise was going to win. That’s the story we’ve been told and the outcome we expect.

So, what stories are you telling yourself and which outcomes are you expecting? By telling yourself the same old story you’ll get the same old results.

Thinking about nothing

A few years ago I was introduced to top coach, Peter Field. Peter agreed to take me on as a client and I was very excited to have such an amazing person to coach me.

One of my homework tasks was to spend time every day thinking about . . . nothing. I’m normally processing around 2000 ideas a minute, reflecting on the past, planning the future and working out what I’m going to say and do next. So, the idea of thinking about nothing, even for a minute, was daunting.

Just try it right now. Close your eyes, take three deep breaths and think of nothing. Just for a minute.

How did you do? As my son would say, ‘It’s rock’ (that means difficult by the way).

Impossible tasks

The next time we met, I asked Peter why he’d asked me to do such an impossible task. He suggested that it wasn’t impossible; I just believed it was impossible for me.

Well, that was it, the challenge was on. Another month went by and another month of ‘failing’ ensued. By now I felt like Daniel in the Karate Kid, but at least after three months he knew how to ‘wax on, wax off’ and ‘paint the fence’!

At our next meeting Peter revealed that the exercise had been part of the preparation for my next task – to focus on me.

Self-awareness, mindfulness, being connected. Whatever you want to call it is fine, but taking time to actually do it is the challenge. It’s one of those classic self-development tools that could be described as simple but not easy. However, it’s worth testing and perfecting as the feeling of calm and really being in the moment is amazing.

How to start the search

I’ve met many people who are searching for their true self. I’ve met many people who don’t even know there’s such a thing and I’ve met a few, very few, who have found it.

Here’s a simple guide to becoming more self-aware:

• Wake up a little earlier, get ready and practise 15 minutes’ silent meditation. If you want to, aim to think of nothing or just focus on only one thing.
• Think about what you do and why you do it. Don’t judge yourself but every time you make a discovery tell yourself: ‘Isn’t that interesting.’
• Be grateful for everything you have now. You have attracted everything you have. That means you can keep it or release it.
• Be better for yourself first.
• Get a coach who can take you through this process. It’s one of the most enlightening things you will ever do.

The most interesting element of exploring self-awareness is how effortless it becomes. Higher self-awareness is a state of mind and like any state it can be affected by many things: the people you spend time with, the work you do, your own destructive thoughts and the input of a thousand other variables.

Keep working at it: you’ll get your breakthrough and the next time you do your Contribution Wheel you’ll be able to give yourself a brilliant mark for self-awareness.