I don’t mean a mate whom you chat with now and then. I mean a person who will really push you, ask all the hard questions and educate you with specialist knowledge.
I’d always used mentors without actually realising it. I was one of those people who used to ask ‘How do you do that?’ to anyone I found interesting. When I was in my early twenties I was made a member of the British Youth Council. After the third meeting I attended I had a proposal I wanted to put to the council. Amazingly, it wasn’t passed, but there were a record number of abstentions. I asked some other members why this had happened and the consensus seemed to be that I was a nice guy but when I stood up to speak most of the other members couldn’t understand me. My strong North East accent was more powerful than my message!
I came home and immediately set about finding someone who could help me. Leonard Lonsdale was the answer. He was a local preacher whom I knew through my church and his voice was amazing. I called him and explained my dilemma. By the next day I had an elocution mentor who, although he couldn’t teach me to speak like Prince Charles, did help me to become more easily understood and gave me bags of confidence.
Here’s your homework. You have seven days to find a mentor. You don’t need to have met with them but you must identify them. Ask them for help and have a first appointment scheduled.
In Napoleon Hill’s famous book Think and Grow Rich, he advocates surrounding yourself with a ‘mastermind’ group. A group of highly qualified individuals with specialist knowledge who would meet on a regular basis to help you. You may be very lucky and have a group of people able to do this. If you want to bring a new group together they may be thinking: ‘What do I get out of this?’ That’s where mentor groups come in.
Mentor groups are a selection of like-minded people who come together and pool their knowledge for the benefit of each person in the group. By bringing a group together you can either get a real buzz or waste your time. I’ve helped several people establish these groups in the past and participated in a few, too. Here are the most common advantages, disadvantages and solutions.
Advantage: You have five or more people to give advice
Disadvantage: Five opinions that may clash
Solution: One person to chair each meeting whose ultimate say is final
Advantage: Conversation leads to unknown creative territory
Disadvantage: You don’t actually get any advice transferred
Solution: Have three clear agenda items and a good chair who leads you back to them
Advantage: Mix of minds allows you to get several opinions on how to tackle an issue
Disadvantage: People who have little knowledge of your problem wanting to give their opinion
Solution: Think transferable. Accept all the advice that people give but think how you can adapt it more specifically to your situation
If you are thinking about setting up a mastermind mentoring group, keep in mind the following:
Having a mentor (or two) is one of the best ways to keep yourself on track and move you to the next level of your personal development. You’ll be amazed at how much people will want to help you if you ask in the correct way and be open to their suggestions.
It may be that as you read this you like the idea of being a mentor yourself. There are lots of ways to do this but one of the most rewarding is to work with young people. Ask your local secondary school if they have a mentoring programme. Many do and they are always looking for committed people who want to help.
Four brilliant words will ensure you get success when you ask someone to mentor you. They work in a magical way and you’ll be amazed at the results when you use them. Quite simply they are: ‘I need your help.’
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