Having a bad relationship with your boss has a huge impact on your ability to do your job effectively. We look to our bosses for support, appreciation and direction. If this is lacking then there is a huge void in your working life, resulting in a lack of motivation and confidence that may ultimately lead to resignation.

Your relationship with your boss could be complicated by hierarchical levels, politics, targets and measurements, not to mention the new styles of management such as ‘matrix’ (who’s my boss today?) or ‘laissez-faire’ (who cares who’s my boss today?!). Large organisations have multiple layers of management and dozens of bosses; smaller organisations may only have one or two. To this day I don’t know which is best.

Manage your boss

No matter how large or small an organisation is, here’s something I learned from my second (and best) boss. If your boss is giving you a hard time, it’s probably because they are getting a harder time from someone else. If that’s true, and you usually won’t know for sure, then it makes sense that your boss needs a new manager and that person should be you. I don’t mean get your boss’s boss’s job (unless you really want to – then see the Career Wheel in this book!!); I mean manage them from where you are.

Reality check

Most people think that it’s their boss’s job to manage them. If you want a brilliant life then you have to learn how to manage your boss – without their knowing it. It’s easier than you think and it makes your life and their life better, too.

Eleven tips for managing your boss

1 Work out their type – then play to it!

Lots of companies spend thousands of pounds attempting to profile their staff. Bosses love this as they get to find out ‘what type of leader they really are’. Sometimes it’s formatted as colours, shapes or even animals that are used to describe their ‘predominant style’. As you work for them and live with their ‘style’, you’re qualified to profile them and for half the price! Why do they spend so much money when you could have told them (for the cost of a curry) that they are a ‘blue, thruster, antelope with polygon tendencies’? Beats me. It’s easy. If they are meticulous, be detailed. If they are colourful – add colour to what you do. The point is that, if your boss has a style, bite your lip and play to it most (not all) of the time and life becomes easier, faster.

2 Help your boss to make decisions

Most bosses don’t like making decisions. You may think ‘but that’s their job’ and perhaps you are right. But I know bosses love someone who will say: ‘I think we should do xyz and here’s why.’

3 Help their memory

In meetings, a quick update of where you left off and the key actions you were working on can be critical to a busy boss. Remember, managing you may account for 10% or less of their time so make it easy for them to get up to speed with you.

4 Be quick to summarise

Bosses are busy. When you get an instruction or are at the end of a meeting, quickly replay the key decisions and your next actions – then get out of there.

5 Know the difference between important and urgent

Sometimes we think we are the only person that our boss should be interested in – especially when something is (in our mind) urgent. It can drive you nuts when they don’t appear to be interested in your ‘urgent’ item – but just stop for a minute and ask how important it is. If it’s both high on the importance and the urgent ranking then it’s time to shout.

6 Be accurate – even if your boss is not

If you have a sloppy boss, the chances are you will be appreciated much more if you focus on being accurate. If you have a precise boss then the same is true. This is one of those unfair rules but it’s no excuse saying that they should be more accurate if you don’t take the time to be more precise too.

7 Provide clarity

I think I speak for all bosses when I say lack of preparation is one of the most annoying clangers when you are managing a team. This is closely followed by overcomplicated explanations and ill-thought-through plans. The answer is in providing clarity. If you are well prepared and can make complicated ideas and concepts simple, you’ll be loved by bosses all your life.

8 Solve it first

I had a boss once who said: ‘Don’t come to me with problems, come to me with solutions for approval.’ When you have a problem and you say to your boss, ‘Here’s the challenge . . . and here’s a couple of ways we can deal with it’, I guarantee you’ll be flavour of the month.

9 Keep it simple

Never assume your boss knows what you are talking about. Technical jargon usually fails to impress, along with the modern management gimmicks you picked up from your last ‘offsite’. If you get the feeling you’re ‘dumbing down’ too much, then move up a gear until you’re at the same speed as your boss.

10 Take responsibility

Be seen to be open to taking responsibility from your boss and be genuinely open to taking on more responsibility. Bosses have sleepless nights about delegating, so make it easy and you’ll quickly find a friendlier side to your boss.

11 Be super trustworthy

I had a colleague who said: ‘I don’t trust any of my staff, they always let you down.’ Don’t be ‘anyone’ – be the one who can be trusted.

It’s down to you

Your relationship with your boss is down to you – not them. That can be a bitter pill to swallow, but if you really want to have a brilliant relationship with your boss then it’s worth giving these ideas your full attention and action.