128 ◾ Transforming Teams
trust?” she asked, raising her arms to put air quotes
around the word trust. Again, heads nodded.
“That’s okay, that’s okay,” reassured Karen. “Look, I’ll
make you a promise. If you leave here at the end of the
day feeling like this was a waste of time, I’ll buy you
dinner at Dominic’s Steak House. Deal?” she asked.
Participants nodded in agreement to the deal. Eliza
could tell Karen had already won them over with her
easy style and the way she acknowledged their feelings
of ambivalence and reluctance to miss work.
Karen moved to the empty wall and put three blank
ip-chart papers on the wall. At the top of each page
she wrote one of the following three words: Sincere,
Reliable, Competent.
She turned to the group and said, “Okay. Let’s get
started. Please look over your Trust Test. I want each
of you to give me an example of one answer for which
you rated your self-assessment ‘rarely’ or ‘never.’”
After a long pause, a member of the customer ser-
vice team raised her hand and said, somewhat shyly,
“Okay, so I don’t always say what I think or share my
opinions. I often just don’t feel comfortable doing that.
Apparently, it’s my behavioral style,” she said meekly.
Karen gave her a warm smile, thanked her, and
noted her response on the page marked Sincere.
Next, a sales representative volunteered, “I know I
have serious time management issues . . . I know I’m
not doing everything I said I would do. I’m just really
swamped.” Karen nodded and added this comment on
the page titled Reliable.
It’s All about Trust ◾ 129
After a moment, Claire offered, “With all these new
product lines, I have to admit that if I don’t know what
I’m looking at, I can’t tell if the order is correct. That’s
why I’m so slow to sign off on them: I worry I don’t
know what I’m doing.” Karen gave her a look of under-
standing and jotted her response on the page marked
Competent.
Dave joined in next. “I know that I am bad at man-
aging details or capturing all of the information that
the support team needs. Claire and I are working on
that, but I guess you could say I’m not capable of it. It
doesn’t come naturally to me—or to people with my
behavioral style, for that matter.” Karen put this under
Competent and proceeded to take the remaining con-
tributions, adding each to one of the three pages on
the wall.
After everyone had shared something that was on
their Trust Test, Karen stood back so that the group
could review the results.
The team quietly reviewed the charts until Dave
broke the silence.
“Okay, so what does this have to do with trust and
the Trust Test? Are you suggesting that all components
of trust fall into one of these three categories—sincer-
ity, reliability, or competence? Do they always?” Dave
asked.
“You tell me,” answered Karen. “Can you give me
an example of when someone broke your trust and it
didn’t fall into one of these three categories?”
130 ◾ Transforming Teams
- I don't always say what I
think or share opinions
openly.
- I think others question
whether I really mean
what I say.
- I try to be nice and say
it's okay when it's not okay.
- If I think someone's being
an idiot, I'm not going to
tell them.
- Sometimes I say I'll get to
it when I really don't plan
on doing so.
- I'm not capable of
managing details.
- I'm not familiar enough
with CRM software.
- I've never sold PTW products
before.
- I say “sure I can do that“
when I have no idea if I
can.
- I don’t admit to others
(maybe even myself) that
I don’t know something.
- If I don’t know what I’m
looking at, I can’t tell if
the order is correct.
- I know I have serious time
management issues.
- I take on more work than
I know I can complete.
- I hate to say “no“ so I say
“yes“ instead.
- I don’t take deadlines as
seriously as others and
that is probably a problem.
- I’m often a no-show but
I’m busy.
- I have good intentions, but
I’m just swamped and
there are only so many
hours in the day.
Components of Trust
Sincere Reliable
Competent
Dave thought for a minute. “No, actually, I can’t.” He
paused, then continued, “When I think about people that
I really don’t trust, it’s either because I think they’re lying
or not telling the truth—which gets to sincerity—or they
It’s All about Trust ◾ 131
don’t keep their promises, which I guess relates to some
combination of them not being capable or reliable.”
Karen nodded in agreement and continued to stand
silently, waiting for someone else to chime in.
“I had a boyfriend who borrowed money from me and
promised he’d pay me back. But he never did. He doesn’t
have a job. He has no money. And I don’t think he ever
intended to pay me back,” offered one of Claire’s reps.
“I guess that really falls under all of these, right?
He certainly wasn’t reliable because he didn’t pay you
back. Possibly he wasn’t competent because he didn’t
have a job. And he denitely wasn’t sincere in saying
he would pay you back. So this is a good point,” said
Karen. “Sometimes the breakdown can occur in all
three areas, right?”
Another customer service rep, Jennifer, spoke up.
“Okay, so we have these categories. But what’s the
point of labeling them? If you don’t trust someone, you
don’t trust someone, right? I mean, what’s the point of
categorizing why we don’t trust them?”
Karen, expecting this question, smiled and asked
James, one of the sales representatives, and Jennifer
to stand and face each other. She asked them whether
they have occasion to work together.
“Yes,” they both replied. They were smiling at each
other and obviously had a good rapport.
“Okay, Jennifer. Do you trust James?” Karen asked.
Jennifer looked surprised and somewhat uncomfort-
able by the question. “Sure. We get along great,” she said.
Karen pushed. “That’s not what I asked. I asked if
you trusted him.”
132 ◾ Transforming Teams
At this point everyone was uncomfortable. James
was young, new, and well-liked. Jennifer shrugged her
shoulders and said noncommittally, “Sure. I trust him.”
Karen pushed a bit further, “Really? Does he give
you what he says he’s going to when he says he’s going
to give it to you? Does he meet your expectations?
Does he keep all of his promises?”
Looking a bit resigned, Jennifer said, “Well, okay.
I can’t say he’s great with deadlines, and sometimes
I think he’s just humoring me when he says he’ll get
right on something. But I’m not mad or anything at
him. I like him.”
“I’m not suggesting that you dislike or are mad at
James, Jennifer. But when he says he’ll get you some-
thing within a certain time, do you believe him?”
Karen pressed.
“No, I kind of don’t believe him,” she responded,
trying to suppress a nervous giggle. “I guess I really
don’t trust him when he says that to me. Because I’m
pretty sure he won’t get it to me when he says he will.”
Jennifer straightened her back and afrmed, “No,
I don’t believe him.” Then she slumped a bit and
mouthed a silent “Sorry” to James, who just shrugged
as if to say, “Don’t worry about it.”
Karen thanked and excused Jennifer and James and
turned to the rest of the group. “You see, when we talk
about our interactions in the context of trust or being
trustworthy, it takes on a lot of meaning. It’s scary and
we don’t want to go there. It’s a huge declaration to say,
‘I don’t trust you.’ And once you’ve gone there, it’s per-
sonal and it’s hard to repair. But it’s an entirely different
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