Managing Promises ◾ 155
“Mind you,” Eliza continued, “he didn’t always take
my solutions—sometimes he’d come up with a fourth
or fth solution, but at least I was invested in solving
the problem.
“What I’d like you to do from now on is to require
that everyone on your team, when they come to you
with a problem to solve, present two or three solutions
rst. Are you up for it?” asked Eliza.
“Absolutely, and in fact, I think I’d like to pass this
golden nugget along to Kirby and his team. It’s one of
Dave’s greatest complaints about my team and Kirby’s
as well. He thinks we just come up with problems and
never dedicate any time to nding solutions. I love the
idea of requiring everyone to come up with three solu-
tions. I can’t wait to get with my team and with Kirby.
Thanks, Eliza. And for the record, you’ve been a great
boss, and I’ve learned a lot from you.”
“Thanks, Claire. I’ve learned a lot from you, too.”
* * *
Once back in the restaurant, it was obvious that every-
one was in good spirits. People were laughing and hav-
ing animated conversations. Eliza spotted Karen across
the room, talking with Dave. Eliza made her way over to
them and, when she got there, she touched each of their
wine glasses with her own in a gesture of cheers.
“Here’s to a great day and a new beginning!” said Eliza.
“Cheers to that. In fact, here’s to a few new begin-
nings,” said Dave with a twinkle in his eye as he
winked at Karen.
“Am I missing something?” Eliza asked.
156 ◾ Transforming Teams
“Dave here was just telling me that he and his wife
have decided to adopt a child,” said Karen with a big
smile.
“You . . . and your wife? Adopt? Okay, am I missing
something?” asked Eliza.
Dave laughed, having anticipated Eliza’s reaction.
“Yes, I guess you are,” said Dave. “You see, I spent a
lot of time thinking about the critical conversations that
we discussed last week. And, as I told you, I realized
that I had never initiated one with Beverly. Certainly
my wife of 15 years deserved a shot at a critical conver-
sation if Claire did. And seeing how well it went with
Claire, I decided to have one with Beverly.
“It also helped that we had done the DISC work. I
actually called Charles Henry and asked if I could pur-
chase a DISC assessment and a report for Beverly. He
let me buy one, and Beverly agreed to take the assess-
ment even though she knew absolutely nothing about it
or why I was asking her to take it in the rst place.
“Anyway, she took it, and it turns out she’s a rst-rate
Controller. We are opposites, behaviorally speaking, and
she is really introverted, and her predominant mood is
fear. I hadn’t really realized this. But the more I thought
about it, I realized that we hadn’t grown apart so much
as we had just stopped exing and reverted back into
our own opposing behavioral style.
“So I did the same thing with Beverly that I did
with Claire. I asked to set up a time to talk with her. I
brought home some carry-out Chinese food so that we
wouldn’t be distracted by cooking or cleaning up, and
we just sat down to talk.
Managing Promises ◾ 157
“I showed her my report, which she read—and
laughed at, by the way—and it just gave us a place from
which to start talking. We talked about all of the things
that we shared and all of our differences and all of the
things we were missing. And the thing that we were
both missing was children. She thought I didn’t want
them, and I thought she wouldn’t consider adopting. We
had never really talked about it, which is crazy but true.
Slowly, over time, we just went our separate ways.
“But since we’ve started talking and listening, we’re
like a couple of love-struck teenagers. And we’re so
excited about our future. It’s like we’re meeting again
for the rst time, but even better because we already
know each other so well.
“And I’m really excited to bring some of this lan-
guage of trust home to her as well, because I’m sure
I’ve broken hundreds of promises to her in the past
that I didn’t even know about. I just have to say thank
you, Eliza. I never knew this work stuff would have
such a big impact on me personally.”
“Oh, Dave,” Eliza said as she gave him a warm
hug, “that’s the best news! I’m so happy for you both.
You deserve to be happy, and I’m so glad this work
has helped you at home as well as at work. Please
tell Beverly how happy we are for you both. Any idea
when the adoption will go through?”
“No. We will be adopting from abroad and are just
in the beginning phase of what I understand can be a
lengthy process, but we’re thrilled to be on our way!”
“Well, good for you both.” Turning to Karen, Eliza
said, “By the way, you offered to buy anyone a dinner
158 ◾ Transforming Teams
at Dominic’s who didn’t think the day was worth-
while. Looks like you have no takers. You’ll be eating
there alone.”
Karen laughed. “Looks like I will. And I have to tell
you, Eliza, you have a great team. Nothing brings me
greater joy than winning that Dominic’s bet.”
“Tell you what, why don’t I treat you there anyway—
not only was this not a waste of time, it was a home
run,” said Eliza.
“You’re on!” laughed Karen.
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