MAKING AND BREAKING PROMISES

A promise can be exciting and ego building to make but sometimes a distressing impossibility to keep. A promise kept may bring a great deal of inner satisfaction, but a promise broken can be embarrassing and humiliating beyond expectation. Unnecessary promises are too easy to make. The supervisor with a great desire to build good relationships and to increase productivity is prone to make unnecessary promises.

John, a successful supervisor, was so impressed with one of his new employees during the first-month review that he promised the new employee all his support when the time came to appoint a new assistant. Two weeks later (much sooner than John expected), he was forced to appoint someone else as his assistant because the new employee had not served the ninety-day probation period necessary for eligibility. Having to go back on his promise put John in an awkward position. He paid a high price for breaking a promise he didn't need to make in the first place.

A promise is emotionally accepted. Promises made in a climate of excitement may appear different to you in the cold light of reality, but the changed perspective may not have reached your employees. They fail to understand that busy supervisors with many responsibilities can easily forget a promise even though it was sincerely made. In other words, the receiver sees and feels a promise differently from the giver. The supervisor who ignores this difference is asking for trouble.

Promises easy to keep are also easily forgotten. It is easy to convert a request into a promise and then promptly forget it. For example, an employee might ask you for a special favor such as requisitioning a new, inexpensive tool. If you don't do it immediately or write it down to remind yourself to do it later, you may forget it. The world won't end because of your neglect, but sooner or later your poor memory will cause you embarrassment and make it necessary to rebuild a relationship. Even small promises must be kept, and only the organized person who can follow through should make them. A broken promise may be labeled a lie.

How can you guard against making foolish promises you may not be able to keep? Tell the employee making the request that you can't promise, but you'll do everything in your power to make it come about. Such an approach helps you avoid making a promise, but it still enables you to support the employee. Don't permit yourself to be carried away by your own enthusiasm so that you make promises to create or maintain good relationships with employees.

Of course, you are not expected to avoid completely making promises. Sometimes you must and should make them. Try the following suggestions to help you keep them.

Write them down. You will have a much better chance of keeping promises if you write them in your notebook or on your desk calendar.

Admit you might forget. Tell the employee you intend to keep the promise but you would appreciate a reminder at the appropriate time. It puts some of the responsibility on the employee and helps ensure that you will keep the promise.

If possible, keep it now. If you can fulfill a promise before the day is over, do it. It is a mistake to postpone a promise that can be kept immediately.

If, in your role as a supervisor, you can learn to make few promises but keep those important ones you do make, you will avoid a common and costly mistake.